Movie Review: Warm Bodies (2013)

Oh yea, opening with a joke about humans basically being zombies walking around on our phones not truly interacting with others and forgetting how to really live. I’m sure the writer definitely deserves to feel good about that über original metaphor. *Sarcastically claps* I hope this isn’t what this movie is because people did a darn good job of getting my hopes up.

Warning: Vague spoilers below that may make you go, ooooooh, that’s what she was talking about in her review if you watch the movie later.

Look, another movie with my definitely not recently remembered future ex-boyfriend Nicholas Hoult whose IMDB page totally didn’t inform my next couple of movies that I picked by random.

I’m not sure what I’m judging against here for his performance but he definitely pulled off zombie Frankenstein teen monster forbidden Romeo or whatever his character influences were.  He zombied with the best of them, he was so good at zombieing that he successfully gave a human a crash course and saved her life. He Frankensteined like a pro with the whole kinda intelligent in that he can communicate through grunts and some words and definitely is into someone out of his league if we’re comparing things like future potential and security on Maslow’s hierarchy of human needs thing. And he teen monster forbidden Romeoed her real good with him being a guy probably cast at least half a decade younger than he really was at that time, dealing with the normal issues a zombie deals with plus taking on the burden of a forbidden romance with a young girl whose family would totally kill him on sight named Juliet…I mean Julie. Let’s just be thankful the big ending wasn’t finding out his name was Romy or something.

Now that may sound like I didn’t enjoy his performance but god did I. For a zombie he may have been the best catch ever. He had his own home, didn’t live with his bros. He had hobbies, could converse on music, was thoughtful getting her a beer, saved her life multiple times. Actually, not even for a zombie, for any guy in that world because he didn’t end up dead and had the greatest capacity for love that I could see. Out of all the monsters I’ve been supposed to sexualize recently (vampires, werewolves, mermen, cyborgs, angels, I’m still waiting on sexy Casper) this actually worked. Talk about literal character development/growth.

Teresa Palmer was just fine as the plot device. I mean, I did spend most of her time on-screen trying to figure out where I remembered her from (it was I am Number Four so probably a good thing that didn’t immediately come to mind when I saw her). Could almost any female or feminine looking human being have done the role and been as convincing? Arguable. It probably wasn’t her fault. How was she supposed to sell romantic lead and intentionally emotionally distanced zombie apocalypse survivor? Maybe someone could have figured it out. It wasn’t her but that could work in our favor since it was easy enough for me to go, “I could act as good as her, I’ll just pretend it’s me and the cute zombie, yay zombie boyfriend for Prisma.”

Let’s see, who else was in this that I looked up the name of?

Analeigh Tipton was there for bits. You may know her as the America’s Next Top Model girl who does movies and tv sometimes and has about six extra joints in each limb. She seems great, as a person. As an actress she’s probably one of the best in the entire movie.

Dave Franco was there and he did a solid job for the role he was cast in. Not every role is a growth opportunity.

What did I like about this movie:

  1. It was super pure. I just wanted to coddle the budding feelings and find them a nice garden or oasis to hide in forever.
  2. This is how you do “I would eat you but I think I love you too much” right. At least when he watched her sleep he did it out in the open with her knowledge (honestly, I enjoyed those books).
  3. Who is this brave optimist who looked at the zombie apocalypse genre and said, there is a best case scenario here if you believe enough in the power of love. Like, seriously, I need to see what else this person has created because their hope needs to be protected and nurtured.

What did I not like about this movie:

  1. The tone was confusing at times. Sometimes it bordered on irreverently humorous, sometimes painfully pure, and really just landed on waffle without butter or syrup. There could have been a little more bite. How am I supposed to learn my lesson as a disconnected millennial if you don’t speak to me in my language of sarcasm and irony?
  2. I’d maybe worry she didn’t have the capacity to love me back with how easily she seems to get over others. I know it’s the end of the world and everything but she’s able to cry over herself and her situation easily enough.
  3. How gosh darn convenient things were. How’s he gonna know where to go? Brain flashback. How’s he gonna connect with her? Brain flashback. How’s he gonna sneak in and find her? Brain flashback. How are we gonna sneak him around? Good thing he’s attractive. Good thing her friend is one of two females of reproductive age in the human population with a bunch of fit soldier but somehow never found a reason to wear makeup.
  4. IT’S A GOOD THING WOUNDS RECEIVED WHILE DEAD DON’T CARRY OVER BECAUSE THEY SURE DIDN’T HEAL!
  5. The phrase “She’s pretty, sure, but I like her for her brains” was never uttered once.

Verdict: Maybe if I was younger I would be gushing a bit more but it was just okay. I’m glad I watched it but I’ve got better things to do than watch it again. It does have the ability to be not quite what either person in a couple wants in a movie night though as it is both not quite a teen romance and not quite a zombie thriller.

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