Movie Review: 22 Jump Street (2014)

I think I forgot what was funny until I saw this movie. I laughed more at the ending credits than I did for the entirety of A Million Ways to Die in the West and Neighbors. Not only is this movie the funniest thing I have seen in quite some time but it also manages to blow the first one out of the water.

I don’t know if the writers are in their prime or if the actors felt unstoppable but I doubt anything as funny will be coming out anytime soon. The trailer was mildly humourous but it didn’t even come close to brilliance of this movie.

All the talent was utilized brilliantly. Of course, not everyone can be a main character but they made sure that everyone worth hearing from got to shine a little.

The humor was far more palatable for my poor sensibilities as well. There was very little potty humor and the sex jokes were as tasteful as sex jokes in a movie aimed at guys can be. Not once did I find myself trying to ignore a scene or pretending that I was completely cool with something happening.

There was an attempt at a larger theme but unlike other movies that have attempted a deeper meaning it actually delivered the message with a subtle hand. It didn’t throw it in our faces in the beginning, it didn’t forget about it in the middle, and it didn’t rush to conclude at the end. Continue reading

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On Fun Fonts

If you are writing and have the thought, “Maybe I’ll jazz it up a bit by using a font that fits the story,” STOP. (You could argue similarly for using all caps for emphasis but that’s another post and not one I will be writing.) Don’t do it. I have seen many a weak, poorly developed plot and cliché rhyme painted over with a “fun” font. Here are some examples.

  • A story about food in the freezer written in “Chiller”
  • A story about a retired journalist written in “Courier New”
  • A poem written as a letter in “Lucida”
  • A story from a kid’s POV written in “Comic Sans”

I’m not talking about well sprinkled font use. If your serial killer has written, “Hello,” on the bathroom mirror and the main character sees right before noticing the shadowy figure in the reflection go ahead and write that in “Chiller”. If your character reads a newspaper, you can put the article in newstype. If the character is writing a note use one of the handwriting fonts if you want. Continue reading

Make me a better me, for you.

I am humbled (kind of) that you even stayed long enough to read these words. If I didn’t want to share my thoughts with you then I wouldn’t have started this blog. With that in mind and if it pleases you to do so:

Check out my “About” page.

Make requests for my opinions on things or ask questions on my “Requests” page.

And give me quick and easy feedback with the poll on my “Satisfaction” page.

Episode Review: Bachelorette, Season Andi, Episode 6

Just to be clear, this is not the same as the terrible filler episode aired two weeks ago. This is actually about Week 6.

To see my reviews from the previous weeks just click on episode 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, and the recap.

Venice. What screams American tourists more than a group of me yelling, “Venice, we’re here baby!”

First 1-on-1: Starts as soon as the boys land and meet Andi. Everyone thinks it’s going to be Cody because he is the only one who hasn’t had one yet. He looks like he is about to jump for joy. And then it is given to Nick. Nick spews poetic about how beautiful the city is in a voice over as the camera panes across a church under construction with ugly scaffolding.

Andi says she is worried that he isn’t popular with the guys because she doesn’t trust people who make enemies that easily. But Nick scores points with her by apologizing for being salty on the last group date and promises to do better. Of course, in order to prove that he has to make it to next week but that is kind of given.

We see them get black-tie level done up for dinner. She says, “In his tux he looks like a prince.” I’m glad she thinks that because I was thinking little teddy bear in fancy duds.

Andi flat-out asks, “Do you think you’re a frontrunner?” Nick, “I don’t like that term…blahblahblah beating around the bush blah, but I do talk with a sense of confidence.”

(Dear readers, I pray for all of us that Nick is not the next bachelor. I try not to be mean…okay, that’s a blatant lie. I like him as a person so I don’t want to shred him. But if I have to listen to him talk for another entire season I might just watch it on mute with subtitles.)

Nick throws Andi a bone by mentioning that love was the direction he was going in and she relinquished the rose, forfeited a few kisses, and the couple donned masks to go dancing…alone. “I’ve been masking (ha) my feelings,” says Nick. Gotta love a good pun y’all. Continue reading

Movie Review: How to Train Your Dragon 2 (2014)

Was not as good as the first one.

Don’t get me wrong. It was not a bad movie. It just felt flat.

There was little actual character development for all Hiccup spent the movie talking about finding himself. We jump through a lot of growing moments really quickly. Instead of depth we just get a lot of characters and dragons thrown at us. We meet his mother. She’s cool I guess. The supporting kids all get a little more personality. There is the redeemable bad guy and the real bad guy. There is a swarm of different dragons that we never really get the names of. All of them seem to breathe fire. Kind of lazy after how creative the first movie was with powers.

The plot was weak. Basically a guy with a bigger dragon tries to take over everything. In the end he is vanquished and disappears. Which is odd since they fought on an island. We never really get any explanation. Why can this guy control dragons through fear? Why are there two king dragons just chilaxing with humans when they are supposedly really rare? Why is Toothless the only Night Fury?

Basically, at the end of the movie I had so many questions about things that were pretty glossed over that it probably would have been better just not to see it. Continue reading

Episode Review: Bachelorette, Season Andi, Episode 5

The one we skipped to see highlights. If you want spoilers just go Google Reality Steve and see what he has to say. He has pictures to back him up. If you want color commentary, read on.

If you want to look at my previous comments see episodes 1, 2, 3, 4, and filler.

Okay, this is the episode people. We finally get some Andrew drama. Not the drama we have been waiting for but at least something. Let’s go to France. Want to know what I know about France? They will be hosting the 2016 EuroCup. What else? They are still in the World Cup…and not Spain. Don’t be surprised if I am a little bitter tonight. Also, this is a day late from the Hulu posting date. I’m sorry.

Josh finally gets a 1-on-1. (Chris Harrison wears a terrible turtleneck under a blazer btw) They walk around a little and then cuddle up on a sailboat. Andi says he is physically the athletic type she always goes for (he brags that he was a 2nd round pick in baseball). Well, there is definitely a physical side to their relationship. She says she chalked up the cheating in past relationships to the guys being athletes. Remember girl, Josh quit being an athlete so he could have a family. Apparently, Josh has been cheated on. It’s like they are meant to be. That story exchange heaves him over the hesitation hump she had. They get a private concert because why not. That seems to be a fairly safe fallback date for the show.

Andrew, Marquel, Cody, and Patrick haven’t been on 1-on-1’s and haven’t kissed her. At this point we should know to expect the worst for them. Continue reading

Episode Review: I Wanna Marry “Harry”, Episode 8

Fairytale Ends

Reviews for episodes 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, and 7.

We find out that Sir and the chosen girl will get $125,000 dollars if she forgives him and agrees to try to date after the reveal. Apparently, Sir does not know about this prize. Why in the world would FOX even feel the need to chance the waste of money then? If she doesn’t accept him “they leave with nothing,” …except the money I am sure they get paid for each episode they stay on for. Maybe they just wanted to have the best dating show success rate and money was the best solution.

Kelley thinks she is the only one there for the right reasons. Let’s be honest people, the real reason they are all there is to be on TV and date. This isn’t a contest of who is the nicest or who has never been in love before. And if it was a niceness competition, Kelley looses to Kim and Karina. She went from girl-next-door to catty queen quickly.

Kelley’s Date: I want whatever she is wearing in her aside interviews. It looks super adorable. She obviously loves the idea of him. I feel like Kelley knows the least about Matt out of the final three. She decides to tattle on Kim and Karina. (They were joking about him hooking them up with his rich friends as consolation prizes if he breaks their hearts. It was a joke Kelley.) And then she goes and tries to tell him about Karina’s picture of her ex which is none of her business. And Sir tells her as much. Super thumbs down for being so classless. A true Southern belle would have handled herself much better.

Karina’s Date: They talk about her ex. I’m not sure she is over him but then again I don’t think she is the best choice for Sir anyway. She could make someone a nice trophy wife.

Kimberly’s Date: I think she is Sir’s best option. Unfortunately, she is also the one with the most trust issues.

Kelley keeps saying she would do anything to be with him. I think she means Prince Harry. Would she do anything to be with Matt Hicks? No. No way in hell. And the fact that she is so intense after less than 2 months makes me think her feelings aren’t going to hold up.

Sir is not planning to marry the girl right after or even propose. He just wants the chance to pursue the girl (date) after the show. Karina and Kim seem to get that. And he sends Kelley home proving he is still a decent judge of situations. Her ugly side has come out the past few episodes. Kelley, cursing on national television is not lady-like.

In what I’m assuming is the “Who wore it best?” portion of this show (both women wear the same dress in slightly different shades of neutral) I think Karina wins. But since we already had the pageant I doubt that matters.

There is a winter wonderland set up for them. Which will be super easy for the girls to walk in in heals.

Kim says she is glad she got to learn a lot about him and Sir replies that there is a lot left to learn. Hardy-har-har Matt. We get to see the look back on each girl’s journey with Sir and it looks like Karina puts in effort. I’m not saying that as a bad thing. I just worry that she will not feel compelled to put in the same effort for a normal guy. And she is probably out of his league in real life so it makes sense that she would put in the effort for a prince but not a guy who cleans up oil spills.

Matt seems like a nice guy but he really needs to stop building the girls up before sending them home. It might feel like the nice thing to do, make them feel like it isn’t their fault, but what he is really doing is letting them get their hopes raised before smashing them causing them to fall even farther emotionally.

He does send Karina home though. Hopefully because he knows that she wants more than he can offer her out of life and a partner. He makes a tasteless choice in my mind and kisses her before and after the news.

Sir tells Kim she is the girl he has chosen before he tells her he is not Harry. I think he should have told her first. I’m not Harry. Let that sink in. If it is still cool then tell her about your feelings. This is another situation where he builds the girl up potentially setting her up for an even bigger emotional fall. If he is going to be selfish and lie to the girl then he doesn’t deserve to tell her his feelings and get her reaction until he has told her the truth. That is the prize if she says it is okay in my mind. But, oh well. Bigger drama.

Luckily for Matt, Kim is a dreamer and a romantic. It doesn’t change anything for her. If anything, it probably is a big relief. She doesn’t have to worry about a disapproving family, changing how she behaves, if her family and past will come under censure, nothing. I think it was a good choice on his part and I wish the happy couple luck and as smooth a break-up as possible. Let’s just hope they split the money ahead of time.

Too bad there isn’t an entire episode of reaction videos and group chat with the other girls finding out. I will scour the internets for a little bit to see what I can dig up and will report anything fun. (As of now I can’t find any news on the other girls or on whether Matt and Kim are still together. I guess the show was just that unsuccessful at making people care.)