Just to be clear, this is not the same as the terrible filler episode aired two weeks ago. This is actually about Week 6.
Venice. What screams American tourists more than a group of me yelling, “Venice, we’re here baby!”
First 1-on-1: Starts as soon as the boys land and meet Andi. Everyone thinks it’s going to be Cody because he is the only one who hasn’t had one yet. He looks like he is about to jump for joy. And then it is given to Nick. Nick spews poetic about how beautiful the city is in a voice over as the camera panes across a church under construction with ugly scaffolding.
Andi says she is worried that he isn’t popular with the guys because she doesn’t trust people who make enemies that easily. But Nick scores points with her by apologizing for being salty on the last group date and promises to do better. Of course, in order to prove that he has to make it to next week but that is kind of given.
We see them get black-tie level done up for dinner. She says, “In his tux he looks like a prince.” I’m glad she thinks that because I was thinking little teddy bear in fancy duds.
Andi flat-out asks, “Do you think you’re a frontrunner?” Nick, “I don’t like that term…blahblahblah beating around the bush blah, but I do talk with a sense of confidence.”
(Dear readers, I pray for all of us that Nick is not the next bachelor. I try not to be mean…okay, that’s a blatant lie. I like him as a person so I don’t want to shred him. But if I have to listen to him talk for another entire season I might just watch it on mute with subtitles.)
Nick throws Andi a bone by mentioning that love was the direction he was going in and she relinquished the rose, forfeited a few kisses, and the couple donned masks to go dancing…alone. “I’ve been masking (ha) my feelings,” says Nick. Gotta love a good pun y’all.
Group Date: They take lie detector tests in a room in a castle filled with weapons. Andi dear, we all know that the results of lie detector tests are inadmissible in court. Potato thinks this is the worst date possible. I agree, but for a different reason than him. I also align with Josh’s opinion. Part of a relationship is trust and testing them is not conducive to building that trust.
Some of the fun facts we learn:
- Josh has cheated on a test.
- JJ thinks he is good in bed.
- Dylan has slept with more than 20 women.
- Dylan does not wash his hands after using the restroom.
- Brain says he wants kids but his hesitation hints otherwise.
- Potato is the secret admirer. Goodness people. I’m in shock. Except not really because I can totally see Potato writing such clumsy lines and forced rhymes.
Andi then makes the stupid but right choice and rips up their results. She is stupid because some of the guys lied and probably about important things. If I could vet possible suitors through this method I would do it every time. But then again, maybe I don’t have men camped outside my window for a reason. I wouldn’t mind taking a lie detector if I wanted the chance to pursue a relationship but I don’t expect most people to think or work like me.
Brian does a cute little fake lie detector with her hands on his pulse and heart. Brilliant move from the guy who, so far, has missed making pretty much every move. Prolonged physical and eye contact. They then reverse the situation. “Do you wanna make out?” “No.” “You’re lying.” And he goes in for the kiss.
Marcus admits that before his 1-on-1 he wanted to leave because he didn’t think he could handle the odd situation and his developing feelings. He has dimmed in these past few weeks. It might be the facial hair. Is someone feeling insecure about their age? He does say he is in love with her. Goody. We are in full declaration mode now people. Expect the L-word a few times an episode and men crying.
Josh really didn’t like the lie detector test. Andi is confused that Josh is so upset. She needs to remember that he was accused of cheating in past relationships, which he strongly claims were unfounded accusations. Maybe being accused when he is innocent is a button for him. I am giving him the benefit of the doubt on this one. I just hope he doesn’t wear that shirt again.
Potato admits to being the secret admirer. Andi says she knew it and I’m just sitting here at my computer like, girl, I hope you have had other conversations with him besides the ones I’ve seen on the show because I am at a loss for where your opinion of him comes from.
1-on-1 with Cody: She acknowledges right up front that her relationship with him is the furthest behind and lacks the romance. Cody is this season’s egg guy from Emily’s season.
She keeps mentioning Romeo and Juliet (a story I have issues with that I will get into in another post at another time) as they walk around Verona and the entire time my little snark inside my head is whispering, “Does he know? Does he understand?” I harumph through the entire letter answering portion of the date.
Andi wears a casual outfit to dinner including pants. What a stark contrast between the two 1-on-1’s. He wrote a letter. He tells her a lot a pretty things including that he wants to take her home to meet his family. My goodness this show loves to build people up, tear down their walls, and then crush them. She let’s him go. And we have our first 1-on-1 date victim.
Cocktail Party: Side boob! At the oldest winery in Verona…where they drink the well aged vintage 2008.
Nick steals her away first and that pleases Andi. He kisses her right off the bat and that really pleases Andi. No me gusta.
And the other guys no gusta as well. They need to learn that they are not sister wives trying to share the husband equally and peacefully. I might not like him but it’s not because of how he is playing the game.
Brain also tries writing…a poem? a list? A failure. That’s it. He writes a failure.
Chris, Potato, Dylan, Brian, Marcus, and Josh stay leaving JJ to say goodbye just as he started wearing normal pants. He was starting to let the pressure effect his demeanor and affability so it was probably time.
You know what? No thumbs up this week. It might be because I’m still pouting because I don’t get to see Patrick for a few episodes or because all of the guys are starting to sour for me but I’m losing patience with them.
Week 7 is now reviewed if you want to check it out.