Wanna know what they are telling about? See my reviews for episodes 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, and the pointless recap 4 episodes in.
Andi holds the record for getting the most “I love yous” out of the guys. A former Bachelorette is pregnant and we get to find out the gender. We see a preview for Bachelor in Paradise which looks like it has the drama of the Bachelor without the love and the backstabbing of the Bachelor Pad without the competition. Chris is on it so we should really buy into the love aspect. I’m tempted. We see handcuffs and ambulances.
But finally we wade through their shameless self promoting to the real reason we all tuned in, exploitation of potential racism for the benefit of FOX. And guess what? All the guys are all wearing scarves. Some of them know how to drape it a little too well and some, I’m looking at you Potato, make it painfully obvious that they are just wearing scarves for the group.
Marquel does not disappoint with his wardrobe wearing bright red pants, pink plaid shirt, and cookie broach. Yuck. I didn’t initially recognise Nick S., the golfer, because he isn’t noticeably balding. The darker color and change of hair style is working for him.
We bring the race thing back up. I would probably hire Andrew just based on how well he handled the situation. Not saying he isn’t a douche. But he worked the situation really well. Andrew comes of pretty darn well for someone being accused of what he is. Marquel is just plain annoying. And JJ comes of the worst for not confronting the guy earlier. Apparently there is more drama in Andrew’s life off camera because of this than there ever was on the show.
Marquel goes to the hot seat. I forgot how annoying he is. I feel like he markets himself as a token and plays it up. I don’t get why people like him or why he is so popular besides his spectacular body. I tuned him out because of the clashing patterns and colors, much the same as we saw during the season, that waged a war leaving my eyes as ravaged as Savannah.
Marcus gets special attention time. Nothing there really folks. He doesn’t actually regret falling in love, he was just embarrassed. Marcus is announced to be on the Bachelor in Paradise show along with Marquel. I assume this show is the answer for those of us who want to see manipulated hormones and hot people all year round.
Potato gets to talk about his goodbye. It is as this point in the show that I realize we haven’t heard from Andi yet. Normally they drag the Bachelor/Bachelorette out to face the most recent cuts and let the contestants throw around some accusations. Instead, this show is pretty dang mundane and boring.
They actually let a woman in the audience come down and chat with Potato. If I had know that we could just walk on the set and grab the contestant we wanted I would have bought my way in and snagged Patrick.
Andi comes out. She gets questions from the guys and give candid, well worded answers. She is not pregnant.
The lie detector results. Brian, JJ, and Chris told no lies. Marcus lied about the amount of woman he has slept with. The number is higher than 20. Dylan actually doesn’t prefer brunettes. Josh actually lied about two things. She is offered the chance to not hear what about. Brian: “Don’t do it.” Other guys: “Shut up Brain.” But she does throw them out. “I’m gonna trust the process.”
Honestly, the bloopers were the only part worth watching.
Chris sends Andi away. “I know this was tough…” Like hell that was tough. That was the kindest most chillax remeeting I’ve even seen on this show. We wrap it up with a montage of her kissing the final two I mean their budding relationships through the show.
The credits leave us with an ominous novella length letter that Chris “highly suggests” she reads. The guy who picks the music for tone on this show deserves a raise.
The journey is finally over. See my very late review for episode 10.
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