Episode Review: Bachelor, Season Chris, Episode 1

It’s baaaaaack! And so is my color commentary. Buckle in and get ready for a boot tootin craaaazy ride. It’s time for “Prince Farming” (their nickname not mine, mine was potato) to find true love…bawhahahahaha. At least we are promised scandal and girls selling their souls to create drama and intrigue. After all, who doesn’t want the farming boy worth way more than all the farmers I’ve ever met pooled together?

Blah blah blah old cast members blah true love blah meet the girls blah blah hints of crazy. Some of the intros were so awful and sappy and cringey.

Open on Chris. Continue reading →

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Episode Review: Bachelor in Paradise, Week 6

Don’t skip to the last chapter in this book! Catch up on episodes 1, 2, 3, 4.1, 4.2, and 5. We start with 6 couples (In order of most real seeming and least real seeming)

Marcus and Lacy whom I will be referring to as Macy
Sarah and Robert
Michelle and Cody
Zack and Jackie
AshLee and Graham
Christy and Tasos

The couples are threatened with a test. They have to have a chat about the real world. Can they survive after the show as a couple? If not then they will have to break up and leave. They split up by gender and start discussing things and Michelle decides that Graham needs to dump AshLee. Michelle runs off to tell him as much and AshLee thinks she is going to talk to him about Cody because her best friend couldn’t possibly have any issues with the perfect couple in the house. Delusional, crazy chick. Continue reading →

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Episode Review: Bachelor in Paradise, Week 5

Not the episode you wanted to start with? Here are episodes 1, 2, 3, 4.1, 4.2. Enjoy!

It’s ladies choice! What we start with

Robert and Sarah as still playing couple.
Graham keeps AshLee.
Cody picks Michelle and she agrees even though she is slamming on the breaks in their relationship.
Macy, or Marcus and Lacy, are going strong.
Zack and Jackie pair up.
Jesse and Christy remember each other’s names.

New Arrivals

Brooks, Des’s Season
Tasos, Andi’s Season

Date 1: Marcus gets to “Choose a Lacy” for his date. Marcus has told her that he both loves her and is in love with her but Continue reading →

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Episode Review: Bachelor in Paradise, Week 4 Part 2

Look back on our journey thus far and see why something has to happen this episode for the Bachelor franchise not to become a complete tease. Episode 1, episode 2, episode 3, episode 4 part 1

We ended last night with Marcus and Lacy and Clare and Zack firmly committed to each other. AshLee calls Graham who walks off and is followed by Michelle. What will happen? Hopefully something with the ambulance they keep showing.

We saw AshLee let her crazy get out of control and basically called Clare a w**** to Zack’s face. And you don’t mess with Clare because she will calmly and firmly shut you down, take away your soapbox, and stand smugly looking on as your man debates whether he would rather be eliminated than have to deal with you anymore…apparently. But AshLee isn’t the only one who should look bad in this situation. Michelle, already on my dislike list because of her self-pity and defeatist mentality, decided that Graham had to know about the situation.

We return to see Graham getting dizzy with the emotional stress. Continue reading →

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Episode Review: Bachelor in Paradise, Week 4 Part 1

Wanna know everything about the previous episodes before tackling this two night special? Read my recaps of episode 1, episode 2, and episode 3 now.

They are promising unexpected romance and crazy drama. Here is what we are working with.

Lacy and Marcus are still an item.
AshLee and Graham are due for some trauma. (Originally I meant to type drama but this seems more appropriate.)
Zack is still with Clare.
Marquel moved on to Jackie.
Robert and Sarah are still pretending to be each others first choice.
And Michelle is solo.

(Update on Chris and Elise. Continue reading →

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