Episode Review: Bachelor in Paradise, Week 3

Got a few minutes and want to catch up on the first two episodes of the season? Look at my recaps for episode 1 and episode 2.

What true love parings do we get to see ripped apart from last episode?

  • Lacy chose Marcus.
  • AshLee kept her claws in Graham which is flattering, humbling, and awesome if maybe a little intense to him.
  • Clare got some action from Zack.
  • Michelle stayed with Marquel.
  • Chris agreed to be Elise’s second choice. And now he gets to stick around to rack up his Bachelor universe number for at least one more episode because it’s guys choice this week.
  • Sarah snatched up Robert.

New Arrivals

  • Danielle, Juan Paublo’s Season (I always thought she had a naturally sweet face. Like, if she wasn’t wearing makeup I think we would easily recognize her and think she was just as adorable.)
  • Jackie, Sean’s Season (I was a big fan of her as a person on Sean’s season.)

Date 1 Continue reading

Episode Review: Bachelorette, Season Andi, The Men Tell All

Wanna know what they are telling about? See my reviews for episodes 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, and the pointless recap 4 episodes in.

Andi holds the record for getting the most “I love yous” out of the guys. A former Bachelorette is pregnant and we get to find out the gender. We see a preview for Bachelor in Paradise which looks like it has the drama of the Bachelor without the love and the backstabbing of the Bachelor Pad without the competition. Chris is on it so we should really buy into the love aspect. I’m tempted. We see handcuffs and ambulances.

But finally we wade through their shameless self promoting to the real reason we all tuned in, exploitation of potential racism for the benefit of FOX. And guess what? All the guys are all wearing scarves. Some of them know how to drape it a little too well and some, I’m looking at you Potato, make it painfully obvious that they are just wearing scarves for the group. Continue reading

Episode Review: Bachelorette, Season Andi, Episode 7

Take a quick stroll from first impression until hometown rose through my eyes. Episode 1, Episode 2, Episode 3, Episode 4, Look Back Episode, Episode 5, and Episode 6.

Tonight we got to Belgium which was brilliantly (and disastrously) chosen after they slayed out national team today. Good job whoever is in charge of picking locations and planning episode air dates.

Marcus 1-on-1: Remember that Marcus told her he wanted to leave at one point? It isn’t because he doesn’t like her. It’s because he is scared of the power of his own emotions. (Gag) This is the date I would like to go on. If their first 1-on-1 was my least favorite situation walking around eating good not scary/bug based/eye retaining food and getting to sit frequently is my favorite.

It doesn’t look like they touch their wine that much. Marcus is often seen holding his water-glass. They really took their discussion seriously. At the end he throws out the word “soul mate” in an aside.

Nick decides that he isn’t hated enough by the guys he has to live with and goes to find Andi. He goes into the hotel Andi is staying at, tells a terrible lie that he lost his room key, forget the room number, but it is under his wife’s name and could they help him out. And they gave him the key. I’m quite sure that part had to be staged because this is not the first time a contestant has snuck out and tracked down their target. But let’s remember friend, the last two times this has happened the contestant has ended up going home at the very end heartbroken and bitter (Arie and the hairstylist lady). It does not work for some reason. Continue reading

Episode Review: Bachelorette, Season Andi, Episode 6

Just to be clear, this is not the same as the terrible filler episode aired two weeks ago. This is actually about Week 6.

To see my reviews from the previous weeks just click on episode 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, and the recap.

Venice. What screams American tourists more than a group of me yelling, “Venice, we’re here baby!”

First 1-on-1: Starts as soon as the boys land and meet Andi. Everyone thinks it’s going to be Cody because he is the only one who hasn’t had one yet. He looks like he is about to jump for joy. And then it is given to Nick. Nick spews poetic about how beautiful the city is in a voice over as the camera panes across a church under construction with ugly scaffolding.

Andi says she is worried that he isn’t popular with the guys because she doesn’t trust people who make enemies that easily. But Nick scores points with her by apologizing for being salty on the last group date and promises to do better. Of course, in order to prove that he has to make it to next week but that is kind of given.

We see them get black-tie level done up for dinner. She says, “In his tux he looks like a prince.” I’m glad she thinks that because I was thinking little teddy bear in fancy duds.

Andi flat-out asks, “Do you think you’re a frontrunner?” Nick, “I don’t like that term…blahblahblah beating around the bush blah, but I do talk with a sense of confidence.”

(Dear readers, I pray for all of us that Nick is not the next bachelor. I try not to be mean…okay, that’s a blatant lie. I like him as a person so I don’t want to shred him. But if I have to listen to him talk for another entire season I might just watch it on mute with subtitles.)

Nick throws Andi a bone by mentioning that love was the direction he was going in and she relinquished the rose, forfeited a few kisses, and the couple donned masks to go dancing…alone. “I’ve been masking (ha) my feelings,” says Nick. Gotta love a good pun y’all. Continue reading

Episode Review: Bachelorette, Season Andi, Episode 5

The one we skipped to see highlights. If you want spoilers just go Google Reality Steve and see what he has to say. He has pictures to back him up. If you want color commentary, read on.

If you want to look at my previous comments see episodes 1, 2, 3, 4, and filler.

Okay, this is the episode people. We finally get some Andrew drama. Not the drama we have been waiting for but at least something. Let’s go to France. Want to know what I know about France? They will be hosting the 2016 EuroCup. What else? They are still in the World Cup…and not Spain. Don’t be surprised if I am a little bitter tonight. Also, this is a day late from the Hulu posting date. I’m sorry.

Josh finally gets a 1-on-1. (Chris Harrison wears a terrible turtleneck under a blazer btw) They walk around a little and then cuddle up on a sailboat. Andi says he is physically the athletic type she always goes for (he brags that he was a 2nd round pick in baseball). Well, there is definitely a physical side to their relationship. She says she chalked up the cheating in past relationships to the guys being athletes. Remember girl, Josh quit being an athlete so he could have a family. Apparently, Josh has been cheated on. It’s like they are meant to be. That story exchange heaves him over the hesitation hump she had. They get a private concert because why not. That seems to be a fairly safe fallback date for the show.

Andrew, Marquel, Cody, and Patrick haven’t been on 1-on-1’s and haven’t kissed her. At this point we should know to expect the worst for them. Continue reading