Episode Review: Bachelorette, Season Andi, Episode 2

See my review for episode 1.

“Who is ready to see some half-naked men?” This is going to be a great episode.

Date card 1: Eric gets a 1-on-1. Let’s be honest. The guy is dead so there is absolutely no way they are going to edit the show to make him out to be anything but amazing. But even if they didn’t have the whole “last moments of a man’s life” thing to deal with he seems legit. Remember, this is the guy with the job of “explorer.” His life gives him an advantage. There was no awkward first date silence, the guy is one amazing story after another. He isn’t like that one person at work that just got back from a guided tour of Rome and thinks they can do an accent. This guy is the real deal.

They build a sandcastle and he comes up with the adorable line, “We’ve already built our first home together.” And then he does an actual back flip. But it is obvious that he doesn’t win. First, he dies and well…we like being entertained by the problems of others but finding “true love” and then losing it and only having the show to watch over and over, seeing your relationship blossom, possibly being proposed to, having to do the “Men tell all” and “After the rose” segments…well that would be a little too brutal.

Then they snowboard and Eric further enforces the trust my inner fan girl has placed in him by being good at everything. I kind of feel like I’m crushing on a red shirt but I just can’t help it. They do little cutaways and Eric pretends to be nervous about whether he will get the rose or not. (I don’t believe for one moment that he actually didn’t know how much he charmed her.) Continue reading

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On Meaning in Writing

After many classes and club meetings and readings I have come to one opinion about writing that I feel compelled to share. I would rather read nothing than read one more poem about that summer on the beach with the waves going back and forth and how it is the perfect metaphor for your first love.

I feel very strongly that all writing needs to be about something and that those things should be fully grounded in concretes. That being said, some topics are better than others.

I have heard countless metaphors about the ocean. How it holds a special memory. How things were so great back then with the late night bonfires and the relaxed kisses. For some reason people associate the ocean with idealistic memories and when things were simpler. I associate the ocean with never feeling quite clean and that little bit of grit left over that never ever leaves. An ocean theme better be pretty darn well done if I am going to read past the word “sand” without regretting it. Continue reading

Movie Review: X-Men: Days of Future Past (2014)

I could simply say that this movie tries as hard as its title does and fails just as much but I think it might deserve at least a little explanation.

Have you ever seen a movie and at the end you were like, “I was engaged the entire time but wow was that kind of totally not worth seeing?” Do you want to feel that feeling again? Then this movie is for you. The entire plot of the movie seemed to try to develop so many characters and tried to have a standard bad guy v. good guy showdown. And it failed.

It didn’t fail to develop some characters. Young Professor X was divine. And I am not just saying that because James Macavoy is so delicious. (He is thought, even with the long hair and interesting clothing choices.) It would take one hell of a transformation to get theĀ  character from god complex, to hopeless crippled wastrel, to the shining beacon of hope for his entire species. And by golly I think they did it. I felt that performance and it was some of the better acting I have ever seen in a superhero movie. Continue reading

Casting

Sometimes you see a performance and it is so good you can never get it out of your heart. Occasionally that role is occupied by someone so seemingly unqualified that people start using words like “range”. These are the roles that win awards or fan outraging sunbs. I don’t need to talk to you about the value of these roles.

Instead, let’s talk about the opposite of those roles. I will refer to them as the CWs. Now I am not picking on the CW. I eat it up. If I am looking for a decent story, some action (both types *winkwink*) but still want to be able to do things like clean or type out jaded blog entries that very few if any people will see and even less will read, that includes me, (I don’t like proofing.) then I run to these shows.

What do I mean by a CW? I mean a role that’s casting criteria probably reads like this: Good looking man, strong jaw line, very physically fit, can glower, decent voice over voice, strong grimacing face, believable as a man who pretends to live a life without trouble but really has a deep secret, must ooze sex. Sexy female, long hair, smirks well, can say the word “sorry” many ways to mean many things, can play a teenager even though she is almost 30. I decided on the term CWs because the CW is above average at finding these actors. Continue reading

Episode Review: I Wanna Marry “Harry”, Episode 1

Oh, this show promises to be just wonderfully terrible and I am thrilled to get to see it.

It opens with a bunch of girls going to London. Of course, the girls are American. First, you can probably easily find 12 girls dumb enough be fooled by this in one shopping mall in America. Second, I assume all British girls grew up memorizing everything about their princes like we here in the States did about whatever guy in whichever boy band you were assigned in your friend group did. And apparently there are different accents in that country of theirs and I assume fake Harry’s accent is not the posh royal one of real Harry. Possibly the difference between redneck and southern gentleman. Or maybe they simply couldn’t use Brits because they would be taken to the tower for treason if they misaddressed a commoner as a royal. These girls aren’t “Bachelor contestant” type. Not a single one seems to have a kid or a dream to help people. And thank goodness. If I had to hear people talk about how important family is to them or how they just can’t wait to be a good parent on another show I might actually go to sleep at a reasonable hour instead of wasting my time. Instead, we get to hear about how important money is, and looks, and being pampered, and looking hot. Which might seem shallow but at least it feels really honest. At least half of the girls say they are smart/intelligent and shockingly some of them cannot walk in heels. Continue reading

Episode Review: Bachelorette, Season Andi, Episode 1

I will admit it. I am a sucker for the Bachelor/Bachelorette. I can think of very few other things I want playing in the background as I clean or write or work. I eat up the drama. And the good-looking people sure help. This first episode was everything it needed to be.

1. Andi: She is awesome. She is so much prettier than I am and so successful but I feel like she might be nice to me if she couldn’t find a charmingly polite way to disengage herself from my company. She is fit but her arms aren’t obnoxiously toned because she is a real person and no matter what you tell me I will think no ill of her until television twists something and gives me no choice.

2. The men: My goodness…the men. The past few seasons I have found some of the men attractive but not like this season. The first episode was like a room of the men I would describe to one of my gal pals as “my type”. They dressed well. I’m a sucker for a well cut suit and a guy who pulls off a bow tie earns more than a cursory glance from me. (Not hipster bow tie wearing mind you. I want to look at the bow tie and assume you are a good and proper southern man.) Some of them even had jobs that screamed “trust fund.” Continue reading

On Editing Your Writing

Editing writing is something I absolutely abhor. Know this now if you plan to read anything I write ever.

Snarky remark: Editing is the job of people with English degrees. I don’t have one. So I am not going to waste my time justifying four year and lots of money.

Editing serves one purpose in writing, procrastination. Are you afraid to move forward with your writing? Are you stuck? Are you too insecure to share? Revise.

Revision and editing are just the process of going over and over the same old stuff. It’s kind of like ruminating. Kind of exactly like ruminating. Now I could cite a few actual scientific studies highlighting how ruminating is not good for your mental and possibly physical health but that would require me to open up another tab and Google because I no longer have access to the journals I had access to in college. So trust me on this. Rumination is bad for you normally. Trust me, I took a psychology class. Continue reading