Episode Review: I Wanna Marry “Harry”, Episode 7

Regal Rumble

Refresh on episodes 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, and 6.

Oh my goodness. If anyone wants to take me to one of those tree house spas I will say nice things about you on the internet for forever.

Sir goes swimming with Karina and they enjoy some physical moments. Kelley gets a fully clothed session that lacks any sizzle. I think at this point Sir likes her because she is down to earth and really likes him. She flat-out brings up that they haven’t kissed and he chuckles.

They play “sexy” party games that make me cringe. Nothing says domestic tranquility like a blind folded Sir having to judge kisses in front of the other girls. Sir picks Karina. If you watched the demonstrations you shouldn’t be surprised.

But then Sir slips up. He says William is 30 when he is 31 and Rose catches on. She says looking back everything seems staged. Wasn’t she the first one to insist that the security guards were not for show? Well now she claims she has felt something was off with them. Oh noessss! Could this dissolve into a mega drama that rocks the ancient foundation of the estate?! Let’s hope so. Continue reading

Episode Review: I Wanna Marry “Harry”, Episode 5

A Pageant for a Prince

See my reviews for episodes 1, 2, 3, and 4.

Well, the Colombia v. Greece game has just ended so I am going to squeeze in a review. Remember folks, this show is now cancelled which means we get to see all the episodes right away. I will try to post reviews for them all as quickly as the World Cup will allow.

Some (most) people criticizing this show mention the fact that Matt looks way less like the actual Prince Harry than the show pretends he does. I think I mentioned this in my review for episode 1 but to firmly address this criticism, that is why they choose ditsy pretty girls from America. Onto my color commentary.

We open with Sir still insisting he is in this because at the end he seriously thinks that the girl he chooses could totally be okay with the lies and deceit and be willing to date and fall in love. Not only does he think a relationship built on nothing but lies can hold up there is also the issue of distance. Moving to England for a prince is one thing. The prince actually has money. Matt is not that well off. I predict that the girl will try the relationship partly because of feelings but mostly because she doesn’t want to look like the most shallow bimbo on TV. Continue reading

Episode Review: I Wanna Marry “Harry”, Episode 4

My “Brother” William

Read my reviews of episodes 1, 2, and 3.

Karina gets to eat breakfast with Sir (I’m going to use Sir more frequently because “Harry” and Matt and Fake all have more letters) and she manages to be fully clothed with hair and make-up. She prods well. “Tell me one thing about yourself that you haven’t told the other girls.” A close-up on her face shows that she has expertly covered up pimples. I feel a little better about myself now. Of course Karina goes right back and tells all the other girls. But it seems that she doesn’t get an extravagant lunch date with Sir.

Chelsea and Drunk Maggie get to go horseback riding with Sir and the rest have to muck out the stables. Chelsea brings up race. She is the only black girl. She asks him if he has ever dated a black girl and he says no but it isn’t like color comes into it. We acknowledged and dismissed that.

Most of the girls don’t take to mucking really well. But Kelley does it well with the mentality, if he wants me to then I will prove I am down to earth. They joke that they hope Maggie stays sober enough to stay on her horse. A comment to take note of: “It’s like she thinks there is going to be an engagement ring at the end of this.” At least some of the girls aren’t romantic fools. Continue reading

Episode Review: I Wanna Marry “Harry”, Episode 3

See my reviews for episode 1 and episode 2.

“Spotted by the ‘Paparazzi'”

The episode starts in the suite but at least “Harry” doesn’t walk in on an undressed girl this time.

I was right about my hate for Jacqueline. She thinks that judging people constantly makes a girl a mean girl. Girl, hold the phone, because your constant judgement of Meghan makes you a mean girl by your own definition. Thumbs down.

Meghan keeps her thumbs up because she owns her judging. And I love the term “Tacky Jackie”.

Kimberly seems nice. Her date is cute. She might actually have gone for him if he hadn’t lied to her. But she seems like she might have trust issues and he isn’t giving her any reason to trust him. The “pap” guy is a nice touch for the ruse though.

Poor Kelley has to spend the day with Jackie and Maggie. But I am once again impressed with Matt for choosing to spend time with them. He says he knows they haven’t really made on impression on him yet and he didn’t think it was fair to send one of them home just because he didn’t give them a chance. But he does take the chance to throw out a few choice lies. He takes his shirt off. Cue the 2nd time we hear that he is pasty. What did they expect from a British ginger? Continue reading

Episode Review: I Wanna Marry “Harry”, Episode 2

See the review for episode 1.

I know this is a week late. I just really didn’t feel like watching it.

“Competing for the Crown”

We see some upcoming clips and he cries at least once which is exciting. A bunch of girls are shown and I can’t remember a single one of their names. This should be a quality review y’all.

They all sit around being the best sort of catty about the first impression girl getting some alone time with “Harry”.  A lot of them are older than he is.

I’m kind of impressed with how coy the fake “Harry” is. He gives non-answers to questions like a pro. “Do you ride in helicopters a lot?” “Now and again.” As in right now and yesterday and maybe tomorrow. He has a devious side to him that we see as he plots to get them to guess who he is supposed to be without ever actually saying anything directly. He “trips up” and has “emergencies”. Rose, on the other hand, thinks she is being so subtle but she is about as good at subterfuge as I am at holding my tongue when I have an opinion. She is an idiot and does exactly what he hopes she will by spreading gossip. Continue reading