Regal Rumble

Refresh on episodes 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, and 6.

Oh my goodness. If anyone wants to take me to one of those tree house spas I will say nice things about you on the internet for forever.

Sir goes swimming with Karina and they enjoy some physical moments. Kelley gets a fully clothed session that lacks any sizzle. I think at this point Sir likes her because she is down to earth and really likes him. She flat-out brings up that they haven’t kissed and he chuckles.

They play “sexy” party games that make me cringe. Nothing says domestic tranquility like a blind folded Sir having to judge kisses in front of the other girls. Sir picks Karina. If you watched the demonstrations you shouldn’t be surprised.

But then Sir slips up. He says William is 30 when he is 31 and Rose catches on. She says looking back everything seems staged. Wasn’t she the first one to insist that the security guards were not for show? Well now she claims she has felt something was off with them. Oh noessss! Could this dissolve into a mega drama that rocks the ancient foundation of the estate?! Let’s hope so.

I’ve tried to search for yellow soccer/football/futbol jerseys online and most of them seem to be South/Latin American and non-top tier European teams and some lesser club teams. Unless it is an away jersey, which would be odd for the main photograph, I am okay saying he isn’t anyone incredibly famous.

(Update: I tried looking up player for Chicago Fire since she seems to be from that area and then seeing if any of them play on a national team with jerseys that look like the one in the picture. Nobody I found makes sense. I doubt that jersey is from a club team unless his team is just that poorly ranked that Google couldn’t find them. If she met him abroad then I, and you if you are looking to me for answers, are S.O.L.)

Now the girls get to plan a date each.

• Kelly: Tandem bike ride in the rain and flowers for him. He gives her a cheek kiss goodbye, hopefully forever.
• Kim: Bungee jumping off of a really tall crane…in the rain. Side not to Matt, maybe the reason Kim hasn’t completely let herself go is because she knows almost nothing about you because you have done nothing really but lie to her for an entire month.
• Karina: Wine tasting.
• Rose: Chooses not to confront Sir because she thinks she likes him as a person and wants to see if maybe he is worth it even if he is lying.

Sir gives Kelley, Karina and Kim heart attacks before telling them he wants to stay. He sends the girl whose name doesn’t start with a “K” home. Rose tells him she knows he isn’t the prince and she still has feelings for him. He says only, “My name is Matt Hicks, and I’m really sorry,” or something like that. And when she leaves he leans in to kiss her cheek and she blows him off. The fool kept two girls who aren’t going to be okay with this twist. If he was actually looking for love he would have run after her and asked her to stay. This is FOX. They let their shows do this stuff all the time.

Karina should worry about Kelley. I don’t mind that she misses her ex. I mind that Kelley looks at the situation as a way to destroy a perfectly nice and pleasant young lady. Who knows. Maybe the show ends with a lawsuit for impersonating royalty. It’s more likely than love at this point.

Jump to episode 8.