Episode Review: I Wanna Marry “Harry”, Episode 8

Fairytale Ends

Reviews for episodes 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, and 7.

We find out that Sir and the chosen girl will get $125,000 dollars if she forgives him and agrees to try to date after the reveal. Apparently, Sir does not know about this prize. Why in the world would FOX even feel the need to chance the waste of money then? If she doesn’t accept him “they leave with nothing,” …except the money I am sure they get paid for each episode they stay on for. Maybe they just wanted to have the best dating show success rate and money was the best solution.

Kelley thinks she is the only one there for the right reasons. Let’s be honest people, the real reason they are all there is to be on TV and date. This isn’t a contest of who is the nicest or who has never been in love before. And if it was a niceness competition, Kelley looses to Kim and Karina. She went from girl-next-door to catty queen quickly.

Kelley’s Date: I want whatever she is wearing in her aside interviews. It looks super adorable. She obviously loves the idea of him. I feel like Kelley knows the least about Matt out of the final three. She decides to tattle on Kim and Karina. (They were joking about him hooking them up with his rich friends as consolation prizes if he breaks their hearts. It was a joke Kelley.) And then she goes and tries to tell him about Karina’s picture of her ex which is none of her business. And Sir tells her as much. Super thumbs down for being so classless. A true Southern belle would have handled herself much better.

Karina’s Date: They talk about her ex. I’m not sure she is over him but then again I don’t think she is the best choice for Sir anyway. She could make someone a nice trophy wife.

Kimberly’s Date: I think she is Sir’s best option. Unfortunately, she is also the one with the most trust issues.

Kelley keeps saying she would do anything to be with him. I think she means Prince Harry. Would she do anything to be with Matt Hicks? No. No way in hell. And the fact that she is so intense after less than 2 months makes me think her feelings aren’t going to hold up.

Sir is not planning to marry the girl right after or even propose. He just wants the chance to pursue the girl (date) after the show. Karina and Kim seem to get that. And he sends Kelley home proving he is still a decent judge of situations. Her ugly side has come out the past few episodes. Kelley, cursing on national television is not lady-like.

In what I’m assuming is the “Who wore it best?” portion of this show (both women wear the same dress in slightly different shades of neutral) I think Karina wins. But since we already had the pageant I doubt that matters.

There is a winter wonderland set up for them. Which will be super easy for the girls to walk in in heals.

Kim says she is glad she got to learn a lot about him and Sir replies that there is a lot left to learn. Hardy-har-har Matt. We get to see the look back on each girl’s journey with Sir and it looks like Karina puts in effort. I’m not saying that as a bad thing. I just worry that she will not feel compelled to put in the same effort for a normal guy. And she is probably out of his league in real life so it makes sense that she would put in the effort for a prince but not a guy who cleans up oil spills.

Matt seems like a nice guy but he really needs to stop building the girls up before sending them home. It might feel like the nice thing to do, make them feel like it isn’t their fault, but what he is really doing is letting them get their hopes raised before smashing them causing them to fall even farther emotionally.

He does send Karina home though. Hopefully because he knows that she wants more than he can offer her out of life and a partner. He makes a tasteless choice in my mind and kisses her before and after the news.

Sir tells Kim she is the girl he has chosen before he tells her he is not Harry. I think he should have told her first. I’m not Harry. Let that sink in. If it is still cool then tell her about your feelings. This is another situation where he builds the girl up potentially setting her up for an even bigger emotional fall. If he is going to be selfish and lie to the girl then he doesn’t deserve to tell her his feelings and get her reaction until he has told her the truth. That is the prize if she says it is okay in my mind. But, oh well. Bigger drama.

Luckily for Matt, Kim is a dreamer and a romantic. It doesn’t change anything for her. If anything, it probably is a big relief. She doesn’t have to worry about a disapproving family, changing how she behaves, if her family and past will come under censure, nothing. I think it was a good choice on his part and I wish the happy couple luck and as smooth a break-up as possible. Let’s just hope they split the money ahead of time.

Too bad there isn’t an entire episode of reaction videos and group chat with the other girls finding out. I will scour the internets for a little bit to see what I can dig up and will report anything fun. (As of now I can’t find any news on the other girls or on whether Matt and Kim are still together. I guess the show was just that unsuccessful at making people care.)


Episode Review: I Wanna Marry “Harry”, Episode 7

Regal Rumble

Refresh on episodes 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, and 6.

Oh my goodness. If anyone wants to take me to one of those tree house spas I will say nice things about you on the internet for forever.

Sir goes swimming with Karina and they enjoy some physical moments. Kelley gets a fully clothed session that lacks any sizzle. I think at this point Sir likes her because she is down to earth and really likes him. She flat-out brings up that they haven’t kissed and he chuckles.

They play “sexy” party games that make me cringe. Nothing says domestic tranquility like a blind folded Sir having to judge kisses in front of the other girls. Sir picks Karina. If you watched the demonstrations you shouldn’t be surprised.

But then Sir slips up. He says William is 30 when he is 31 and Rose catches on. She says looking back everything seems staged. Wasn’t she the first one to insist that the security guards were not for show? Well now she claims she has felt something was off with them. Oh noessss! Could this dissolve into a mega drama that rocks the ancient foundation of the estate?! Let’s hope so. Continue reading

Episode Review: I Wanna Marry “Harry”, Episode 6

The “Royal” Treatment

Feel free to refresh and browse my reviews for episodes 1, 2, 3, 4, and 5.

The day starts will hell. Whistles, people screaming, A.M. hours. I wouldn’t forgive him pretending just for this. Meghan is lucky and gets to miss this. Tacky Jackie starts the day off right by being incapable of tuning to her right. Their shirts and helmets say their names and I still can’t remember who that one girl is. (Later on I see that it is Kimberly.) She says she wants to win so she doesn’t get lost in the shuffle but I think we are way past that. I have something in common with Rose, I also have the upper body strength of a cat. And for that I give her a thumbs up. Kelley…is still super annoying but she was just so good at the challenge. She is “real”. And so I give her a begrudging thumbs up.

Meghan gets to go to brunch with Sir and heads over in her pjs. At least she puts a wrapper on to kind of cover her ample endowment. Sir, on the other hand, is fully dressed. Meghan gets a thumbs up for saying, “If I was offered a husband and a Chanel bag I would not want to do boot camp.” But I think she would be outtie as soon as she found out who he really was. She says she thought their date would be more extravagant than brunch in his rooms and a friendly day of tennis but that it is okay because he is “Harry”. Their little evening set-up was gorgeous. I love fun tree lighting. Continue reading

Episode Review: I Wanna Marry “Harry”, Episode 5

A Pageant for a Prince

See my reviews for episodes 1, 2, 3, and 4.

Well, the Colombia v. Greece game has just ended so I am going to squeeze in a review. Remember folks, this show is now cancelled which means we get to see all the episodes right away. I will try to post reviews for them all as quickly as the World Cup will allow.

Some (most) people criticizing this show mention the fact that Matt looks way less like the actual Prince Harry than the show pretends he does. I think I mentioned this in my review for episode 1 but to firmly address this criticism, that is why they choose ditsy pretty girls from America. Onto my color commentary.

We open with Sir still insisting he is in this because at the end he seriously thinks that the girl he chooses could totally be okay with the lies and deceit and be willing to date and fall in love. Not only does he think a relationship built on nothing but lies can hold up there is also the issue of distance. Moving to England for a prince is one thing. The prince actually has money. Matt is not that well off. I predict that the girl will try the relationship partly because of feelings but mostly because she doesn’t want to look like the most shallow bimbo on TV. Continue reading

Tragedy Strikes I Wanna Marry “Harry”

Ladies and gentlemen,

It is with a heavy heart that I report that this staple of your and my terrible-but-oh-so-delectable guilty pleasure diet has been cancelled. Apparently, this show did not resonate with the general public and had very low ratings. It might have had something to do with the fact that I’m too lazy to adjust my schedule to watch any show on the television (I get the basic networks on my VHS/DVD combo TV) when I could just watch it on Hulu the next day. (Spoilers don’t faze me.)

Luckily for you, the last 4 episodes were released today on Hulu and I have a subscription. You can expect a quality review of each remaining episode from me in the next few days. The episodes are the ideal length for watching between the games.

I guess now we are just stuck with a dating show that claims they can make true and lasting love two times a year.