Episode Review: Bachelor, Season Chris, Episode 4

Guess what? Chris doesn’t get to make the date choices again this week. His sisters do. Yuck. Group Date 1: Let’s do what feels natural…We get to see all the girls do natural makeup and steam their dresses as they prepare to show him what natural, down-to-earth chicks they really are. They get to go swimming in bikinis as each woman decides whether they will take off a top or a bottom and their dignity. Kelsey absolutely hates the date. She doesn’t like the outdoors or bugs or camping. On another note, I think I see myself in Kelsey. Ashley S. is less crazy than before which makes her only mildly insane. Kaitlyn gets the rose though. Ashley I., thinking she is one big mystery of outwards sexuality and inner nerd virgin, goes off and has an awkward conversation with him where she almost but didn’t tell him her big secret. One-on-one: The sisters stop by the house to judge the girls. They choose Jade to go on a magical Cinderella themed one-on-one date. Ashley I. is about to break down in tears as Jade gets a princess makeover. Ashley I. broke out the dress she brought specifically to go on a princess date and drank her sorrows as the other girls laughed at her. She gets to keep her accessories as well. It must have been her shyness that won the family over. It should make Ashley I. even more envious that Jade was a delicate delight and earned the rose with poise and comportment. Group Date 2: Poor Jillian is not a girly girl. Which might be to her advantage since they are doing a mud obstacle course for extra alone time with Chris. Carly is trying to compete in a strapless wedding gown. Chris helped the lagging brides in training to finish. Jillian wins the extra time and begins to bomb. She doesn’t have an answer to where does she see herself in five years. She then goes into a tirade about her fitness competitions. And Chris starts zoning out. No surprise she doesn’t get the rose. Nobody should disagree with his cut here. Cocktail Party: Megan chooses to make Chris do a taste test with sexy chocolate covered foods. She’s not too bright but it was cute. Ashley I. decides to play her only card. It’s not something she’s suuuuper serious about except it is the only thing she has been talking about the entire episode. He didn’t kiss her and she cries because of it and it seems the fool values herself in sexual value only. And she super judges Becca when she finds out she is also a virgin. Since when has being a virgin carried such appeal to rich, hot guys? Britt blindsides Chris about Kaitlyn and that’s the moment when I was like, “Right, they’re different girls. I don’t know if I ever saw them side-by-side.” Rose Ceremony: First called is Whitney. Carly, Megan, Sam, Mackenzie, Kelsey, Becca, Ashley I., and Britt are the rest of the girls going on to next week. Crazy Ashley S. is finally gone as is that one brunette and Juelia.


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