I didn’t do much last week but if you would like first impressions and a list of names just check here. Spoilers darlings.
Let’s get back to a below average looking group of guys (compared to other seasons) who could all, for the most part, do themselves a favor and go back to hair basics. We all know the producers like Chris the charming dentist since they gave him the nickname Chris “Cupcake” which bodes well for a lovely season brought to you by dramatic editing.
We get to see Britt break down in tears on the phone with her mom only to open the door to find Brady waiting to chill with her. Now we all are probably groaning a little and wondering if he looked at his odds and went with the one that made him look best. But let’s pretend not to be so jaded and that maybe they will be annoyingly happy together. They are still dating after a week which is longer than half of the Bachelor couples so good for them.
-First Group Date: Daniel, Justin, Jared, Corey, Tanner, Kupah, Ben H, and Ben Z (I see this ending with a ring)
The guys have to box or something. Which makes sense because she has like what? 3 fitness trainers in her harem? The fashion designer, Daniel, seems petrified. Some of the guys were smart and decided to actually chat with Kaitlyn but she even comments that she forgot that some of the guys, Kupah, were even on the date. And now the guys have to actually fight. Some are prepared to win her heart in spite of losing, some are worried for their faces, other are feeling pretty confident because they might be “fitness professionals” or something.
It seemed that the more I liked the guy the worse he was in the ring. But that’s okay with me. There was some serious damage being done to these guys and Kaitlyn goes, “I just wanted this to be fun. I didn’t want to see anyone get hurt.” I love it when the tv show blatantly using people for our base entertainment pretends to not be putting men fighting for one women against each other. Long story short, Jared went down hard and now the date part is only 7 v 1.
Ben Z tries to be a little less meathead after basically killing off a competitor and Kaitlyn is won over. Then the rest of the guys all tell her how pretty she is. Then she gets a mysterious note. Oooo…but no. It’s just Jared back from the hospital who was allowed to say hi before going home for bed rest…but not before a kiss. And at the end of the night Ben Z gets the rose and a kiss.
-First 1-on-1: Clint (You take my breath away)
He looks like he belongs on the cover of an old romance novel. Not the type I like at all. And they are doing an underwater photo shoot which doesn’t seem like it’s made to send sparks flying. They do breathing exercises which he is such a trooper for doing because it really doesn’t seem like his thing. It’s so awkward to watch Kaitlyn not open her eyes and blowing bubbles out of her nose. But Clint kisses her and it is kind of sexy. Maybe Clint should just be a professional underwater model because mussed wet hair Clint is more my type. She offers him the rose and he says, “Ha yeah I will.”
-Second Group Date: JJ, Johnathan, Chris, Ian, Joe, Joshua, and Tony (I’m looking for a man who will stand up for me)
Tony is insufferable. I hate him. The guys get to do standup with Any Schumer. They guys all try to impress Amy and Kaitlyn with their best jokes and while some are punny they can definitely use help. With the editing, Dentist Chris is naturally funny. We find out that JJ is divorced, with a kid (which we knew), and lives with his parents which with the “former” finance career is all kinds of flags waving. But back to these guys trying to be funny in front of actual non-Kaitlyn people.
Ian does okay. Welder does a little better with a dirty joke. Chris is adorable and makes fun of himself and partially takes off his shirt and I want him. Tony gives a blegh acceptance speech instead of telling a single joke. JJ gains a little respect from me for mentioning protecting the awkward sensor and while he might be a terrible person I love him for his take on Tony. Kentucky gets a chuckle.
Welder has never been in love before and is endearing. JJ plays whatever game he thinks he is playing. Joe tells her he would have pursued her even if the Bachelorette had been Britt. But JJ gets the rose and definitely doesn’t let that affect his opinion of himself (since he was willing to put 50k on it his self value might already be maxed out).
Everyone but JJ agrees to let the guys who didn’t get to go on dates talk to Kaitlyn first. Too bad JJ decides to be that guy and steal her away making a bunch of enemies immediately. Tony is the most offended for some reason and it is douche vs loser. Kupah doesn’t want to be the minority guy…well that’s your fault for ignoring her while boxing. I’m glad my knee jerk reaction about him was spot on. Kaitlyn shuts down on him and then he goes and chats it up with the other guys which she totally hears and sends him packing. He then cusses at her and then tries to talk his way back and thank goodness she just isn’t having it.
Kiss recount: Jared the invalid, Ben Z who doesn’t make a habit of fighting, Clint in and out of the water, JJ after talking about his daughter, Kentucky Joe, Ian
Moving up in my esteem: Clint, Chris (Although how much higher can the man go? He seems perfect.)
Moving down in my esteem: JJ (egads he’s insufferable now), Tony (he could easily be a cult leader if he is smart enough)
And it’s TBC folks. Join me next week.