Month: May 2014

Episode Review: Bachelorette, Season Andi, Episode 1

I will admit it. I am a sucker for the Bachelor/Bachelorette. I can think of very few other things I want playing in the background as I clean or write or work. I eat up the drama. And the good-looking people sure help. This first episode was everything it needed to be.

1. Andi: She is awesome. She is so much prettier than I am and so successful but I feel like she might be nice to me if she couldn’t find a charmingly polite way to disengage herself from my company. She is fit but her arms aren’t obnoxiously toned because she is a real person and no matter what you tell me I will think no ill of her until television twists something and gives me no choice.

2. The men: My goodness…the men. The past few seasons I have found some of the men attractive but not like this season. The first episode was like a room of the men I would describe to one of my gal pals as “my type”. They dressed well. I’m a sucker for a well cut suit and a guy who pulls off a bow tie earns more than a cursory glance from me. (Not hipster bow tie wearing mind you. I want to look at the bow tie and assume you are a good and proper southern man.) Some of them even had jobs that screamed “trust fund.” Continue reading →

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On Editing Your Writing

Editing writing is something I absolutely abhor. Know this now if you plan to read anything I write ever.

Snarky remark: Editing is the job of people with English degrees. I don’t have one. So I am not going to waste my time justifying four year and lots of money.

Editing serves one purpose in writing, procrastination. Are you afraid to move forward with your writing? Are you stuck? Are you too insecure to share? Revise.

Revision and editing are just the process of going over and over the same old stuff. It’s kind of like ruminating. Kind of exactly like ruminating. Now I could cite a few actual scientific studies highlighting how ruminating is not good for your mental and possibly physical health but that would require me to open up another tab and Google because I no longer have access to the journals I had access to in college. So trust me on this. Rumination is bad for you normally. Trust me, I took a psychology class. Continue reading →

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On the Purpose of Writing

Please for the love of all that you hold dear and if you hold nothing dear or feel no love then find it in yourself to, whether in logic or ennui or I don’t actually care where as long as you find it, please never write anything without an internally developed purpose. (Please note that I mean write creatively. Do your research papers, kids. They are good for you.)

Be kind to yourself. Don’t write without a proper purpose. Your writing will start to feel like a chore. If you ever enjoyed writing I want to spare you the pain that comes from forcing it for too long. What once felt like a damn you simply had to help flow free begins to feel like a man-made aqueduct. The passion is curtailed and fit into narrow walls and forced into certain paths. You flow where you must flow until all you want to do is be a quiet, calm pond. But once you are a pond you find yourself trapped. You have no outlet. What used to be gushing waves of thrilling language is now a stagnating pool of worthless words. You slowly dry up. You forget how to flow. Perhaps you can overfill and start again but it is very hard to regain passion once you have squeezed it for every grade or dollar or world of praise possible.

I will bring up another point that I find even more important. Be kind to others. If people enjoyed your words before don’t make them see you fade and wither. And don’t you dare subject poor innocent fools to your dried up pages. It isn’t fair. Yes, some drafts are just bad days. Yes, writer’s block is a thing. No, other people should not have to put up with more than one terrible thing from you in a period. It isn’t fair and yes I know that is kind of the story of the world but don’t you dare add to everyone’s misery with your constantly pained attempts. Stop and hope for healing. Continue reading →

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On Writing Something Inspired

Inspiration can strike at any moment. We all know the clichés. Like lightning. The perfect idea. Pours out seamlessly. But when it is hours before a deadline and you have little or no actual respect for most of the people your first draft is intended for inspiration tends to be of ever decreasing importance. Inspiration often deserts us and we are left with desperation. Whether it is for a friendly reading, a class, or even a post anonymously online (tehehe) we fear the seconds passing as the pages remain blank.

Let me tell you, DESPERATION CAN BE YOUR BEST FRIEND. Now some of you might have no clue how something scrawled in the last moments out of desperation can ever be a good thing. You obviously do no use my favorite writer’s weapon: BS.

There are two ways to BS that I favor and I hope in some way they can help you. Continue reading →

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Movie Review: Neighbors (2014)

Neighbors

I will be the first to admit that I simply adore casting decisions made with the seemingly sole intent of giving me something to look at. I just wish there had been more of it and less gratuitous cameos. I understand the movie is probably not geared towards me as a female but a few more hot guy and a few less people I think have TV shows that air after kids go to sleep could have helped hold my interest.

I was not surprised by the nudity or the language. I find myself too jaded to even wonder who all the over-the-top completely unnecessary scenes were for. Instead, I was surprised that this movie even attempted to develop the characters. I was on board for wasting my time on some slightly humorous forgettable flick. I had worried they would try to make something of the, “That fat boring neighbor could be us in a few years, bro,” vibe occasionally danced around. And they did. With everything but the finale done, all major plot points covered, the resolution completely acknowledged, they tried to make me feel like the two hours of partying and pranks had led to actual personal discovery.

This movie is a prime example of one of my pet peeves. Please, please take these words to heart (especially if you ever plan to write or make anything). NOT EVERYTHING HAS TO BE DEEP! In this case, the movie could have benefited from less subplot and more shirtless chiseled men.

Verdict: A good way to waste a few hours you were going to waste anyway. But it won’t be life changing. (Unless you really have virgin eyes.)

Social Cues: Watch it with people you would watch the Hangover with.

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