Movie Review: Captain Marvel (2019)

Ah, the good ol Marvel setting the groundwork with a bland movie so we know who they are and why they are a thing when they bring them in for the next big Avengers film. At least she didn’t fight a Greek god who looks like a lame uncle. Seriously, if he was going to be boring and poorly acted why not just make him hot? I digress.

Marvel, I thought we were past this. We saw it with Thor and his pals that were recast doing something and with Captain America’s exploration into the build up into the build up. Here is another film in the MCU that would be a pretty decent superhero movie if our only benchmark was the DC movies but that is just kind of blah when compared to other stellar standalone introductions.

There isn’t really anything bad about this movie. It’s…better than Thor 1 and probably as good but in a slightly different way as Captain America 1. But now that we’ve seen Deadpool, Ant-Man, and Spiderman I can’t really give the glowing girl power review I was craving.

I can give the casting a good review.

Brie Larson is not the super-heroine I was expecting. A leading lady solo movie, I was expecting a bad***. Well, I mean, we got one, leather jacket and all. But she was still warm and nurturing. I was expecting someone cool. And yeah, she was that too with her mohawk but she was also just purely good and kind. I was expecting sexy and I got sexy but also so respectable and self-possessed that it’s distracting from the skin-tight bodysuit. Of all this, may favorite part was the pure sense of right she so fully captured. She wasn’t the good guy, she wasn’t the hero, she was just able to see right and wrong, change her mind, and stand strong without going on a murder spree. I may not have been wowed by the plot but the goodness she was able to capture made me feel a little bit better about humanity.

Jude Law was yummy as per yuzh. I’m currently googling hot and steamy fan fiction with his character after this movie. I’ll make a not so crazy prediction, he will resurface, he’s the new Loki.

Other people were in this. All humans were good. Some green aliens were fine. All of her soldier buddies besides Jude Law were…like the supporting friends of Thor and I wouldn’t be able to pick them out of a lineup.

The story was a perfectly fine preface. I now have back story and didn’t fall asleep and they didn’t have a picture of demons and angels flipped upside down to make a statement which is really all I ask for in a filler movie introducing a new character. I want more, yeah, but this is fine. If every DC movie is burnt toast that is also a little soggy this is Honey Nut Cheerios. That may not get you pumped for breakfast but you’re probably like, “Hey that’s not a bad cereal, it’s healthy and tastes decent.” True, but my taste buds have had Reese’s Puffs so you can see why I double checked the cabinet.

Verdict: 3/5, a completely fine hero movie with a really enjoyable heroine that makes me excited for another Avengers movie but that I’ll never watch outside of a Marvel marathon

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