Episode Review: Bachelor, Season Chris, Episode 2

We begin with drama. Eliminated Kimberly walks back in and steals the man away. She doesn’t know why it didn’t work out the way she had planned. She FELT that they were supposed to be together. She just wanted a chance to talk to him. And he gives her a second chance. He shows himself to be a really nice guy and a lot of the girls show that they are already about to break their TV cool and calm.

Host Chris is doing his best to make sure the girls all sneak down to Bachelor Chris for a night visit. And luckily for us Bachelor Chris has a shower outside.

Group Date 1: Show me your country

-On this date is Tara the country girl (from Florida for some reason) and another girl who claims to “be more Kardashian than country.” Kimberly is also on this date and Chris is super nice to her. They then have a tractor race and the entire time I’m like, “Is that a Kubota? Because if that is a Kubota those things can go way faster than that.” The winner, Ashley I., gets to sit on his lap in her bikini and chat. He then decides to spend the rest of the time with Mackenzie and the other girls who didn’t get alone time with him try their darndest to rationalize it. She…is terrible at first date banter. She says she likes big noses and that his is great. She brings up aliens. She hasn’t been on a date in “soooooo long” by which she means one year (cue me scoffing and judging her). She named her child Kale. Her voice is super annoying and she scrunches up her face in an odd way. He is also 12 years older than her. In spite of all the red flags he noticed he gives her the rose and a kiss.

One-on-One Date 1: Love is a natural wonder Continue reading

Movie Review: Unbroken (2014)

This is the story of a man who makes you feel ashamed for taking two trips because the groceries were heavy, a man who makes you feel bad that you do not particularly like talking to your aunt, a man who is without a doubt a better person than you. Or at least me.

This movie felt like one big good moment. They did a good job building something and then keeping it consistent. The script balanced powerful lines, hero moments, and comedy well. Continue reading

Episode Review: Bachelor, Season Chris, Episode 1

It’s baaaaaack! And so is my color commentary. Buckle in and get ready for a boot tootin craaaazy ride. It’s time for “Prince Farming” (their nickname not mine, mine was potato) to find true love…bawhahahahaha. At least we are promised scandal and girls selling their souls to create drama and intrigue. After all, who doesn’t want the farming boy worth way more than all the farmers I’ve ever met pooled together?

Blah blah blah old cast members blah true love blah meet the girls blah blah hints of crazy. Some of the intros were so awful and sappy and cringey.

Open on Chris. Continue reading