Reviews

Movie Review: X-Men: Days of Future Past (2014)

I could simply say that this movie tries as hard as its title does and fails just as much but I think it might deserve at least a little explanation.

Have you ever seen a movie and at the end you were like, “I was engaged the entire time but wow was that kind of totally not worth seeing?” Do you want to feel that feeling again? Then this movie is for you. The entire plot of the movie seemed to try to develop so many characters and tried to have a standard bad guy v. good guy showdown. And it failed.

It didn’t fail to develop some characters. Young Professor X was divine. And I am not just saying that because James Macavoy is so delicious. (He is thought, even with the long hair and interesting clothing choices.) It would take one hell of a transformation to get the  character from god complex, to hopeless crippled wastrel, to the shining beacon of hope for his entire species. And by golly I think they did it. I felt that performance and it was some of the better acting I have ever seen in a superhero movie. Continue reading →

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Episode Review: I Wanna Marry “Harry”, Episode 1

Oh, this show promises to be just wonderfully terrible and I am thrilled to get to see it.

It opens with a bunch of girls going to London. Of course, the girls are American. First, you can probably easily find 12 girls dumb enough be fooled by this in one shopping mall in America. Second, I assume all British girls grew up memorizing everything about their princes like we here in the States did about whatever guy in whichever boy band you were assigned in your friend group did. And apparently there are different accents in that country of theirs and I assume fake Harry’s accent is not the posh royal one of real Harry. Possibly the difference between redneck and southern gentleman. Or maybe they simply couldn’t use Brits because they would be taken to the tower for treason if they misaddressed a commoner as a royal. These girls aren’t “Bachelor contestant” type. Not a single one seems to have a kid or a dream to help people. And thank goodness. If I had to hear people talk about how important family is to them or how they just can’t wait to be a good parent on another show I might actually go to sleep at a reasonable hour instead of wasting my time. Instead, we get to hear about how important money is, and looks, and being pampered, and looking hot. Which might seem shallow but at least it feels really honest. At least half of the girls say they are smart/intelligent and shockingly some of them cannot walk in heels. Continue reading →

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Episode Review: Bachelorette, Season Andi, Episode 1

I will admit it. I am a sucker for the Bachelor/Bachelorette. I can think of very few other things I want playing in the background as I clean or write or work. I eat up the drama. And the good-looking people sure help. This first episode was everything it needed to be.

1. Andi: She is awesome. She is so much prettier than I am and so successful but I feel like she might be nice to me if she couldn’t find a charmingly polite way to disengage herself from my company. She is fit but her arms aren’t obnoxiously toned because she is a real person and no matter what you tell me I will think no ill of her until television twists something and gives me no choice.

2. The men: My goodness…the men. The past few seasons I have found some of the men attractive but not like this season. The first episode was like a room of the men I would describe to one of my gal pals as “my type”. They dressed well. I’m a sucker for a well cut suit and a guy who pulls off a bow tie earns more than a cursory glance from me. (Not hipster bow tie wearing mind you. I want to look at the bow tie and assume you are a good and proper southern man.) Some of them even had jobs that screamed “trust fund.” Continue reading →

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Movie Review: Neighbors (2014)

Neighbors

I will be the first to admit that I simply adore casting decisions made with the seemingly sole intent of giving me something to look at. I just wish there had been more of it and less gratuitous cameos. I understand the movie is probably not geared towards me as a female but a few more hot guy and a few less people I think have TV shows that air after kids go to sleep could have helped hold my interest.

I was not surprised by the nudity or the language. I find myself too jaded to even wonder who all the over-the-top completely unnecessary scenes were for. Instead, I was surprised that this movie even attempted to develop the characters. I was on board for wasting my time on some slightly humorous forgettable flick. I had worried they would try to make something of the, “That fat boring neighbor could be us in a few years, bro,” vibe occasionally danced around. And they did. With everything but the finale done, all major plot points covered, the resolution completely acknowledged, they tried to make me feel like the two hours of partying and pranks had led to actual personal discovery.

This movie is a prime example of one of my pet peeves. Please, please take these words to heart (especially if you ever plan to write or make anything). NOT EVERYTHING HAS TO BE DEEP! In this case, the movie could have benefited from less subplot and more shirtless chiseled men.

Verdict: A good way to waste a few hours you were going to waste anyway. But it won’t be life changing. (Unless you really have virgin eyes.)

Social Cues: Watch it with people you would watch the Hangover with.

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