Episode Review: I Wanna Marry “Harry”, Episode 4

My “Brother” William

Read my reviews of episodes 1, 2, and 3.

Karina gets to eat breakfast with Sir (I’m going to use Sir more frequently because “Harry” and Matt and Fake all have more letters) and she manages to be fully clothed with hair and make-up. She prods well. “Tell me one thing about yourself that you haven’t told the other girls.” A close-up on her face shows that she has expertly covered up pimples. I feel a little better about myself now. Of course Karina goes right back and tells all the other girls. But it seems that she doesn’t get an extravagant lunch date with Sir.

Chelsea and Drunk Maggie get to go horseback riding with Sir and the rest have to muck out the stables. Chelsea brings up race. She is the only black girl. She asks him if he has ever dated a black girl and he says no but it isn’t like color comes into it. We acknowledged and dismissed that.

Most of the girls don’t take to mucking really well. But Kelley does it well with the mentality, if he wants me to then I will prove I am down to earth. They joke that they hope Maggie stays sober enough to stay on her horse. A comment to take note of: “It’s like she thinks there is going to be an engagement ring at the end of this.” At least some of the girls aren’t romantic fools. Continue reading

Episode Review: I Wanna Marry “Harry”, Episode 3

See my reviews for episode 1 and episode 2.

“Spotted by the ‘Paparazzi'”

The episode starts in the suite but at least “Harry” doesn’t walk in on an undressed girl this time.

I was right about my hate for Jacqueline. She thinks that judging people constantly makes a girl a mean girl. Girl, hold the phone, because your constant judgement of Meghan makes you a mean girl by your own definition. Thumbs down.

Meghan keeps her thumbs up because she owns her judging. And I love the term “Tacky Jackie”.

Kimberly seems nice. Her date is cute. She might actually have gone for him if he hadn’t lied to her. But she seems like she might have trust issues and he isn’t giving her any reason to trust him. The “pap” guy is a nice touch for the ruse though.

Poor Kelley has to spend the day with Jackie and Maggie. But I am once again impressed with Matt for choosing to spend time with them. He says he knows they haven’t really made on impression on him yet and he didn’t think it was fair to send one of them home just because he didn’t give them a chance. But he does take the chance to throw out a few choice lies. He takes his shirt off. Cue the 2nd time we hear that he is pasty. What did they expect from a British ginger? Continue reading

Episode Review: I Wanna Marry “Harry”, Episode 2

See the review for episode 1.

I know this is a week late. I just really didn’t feel like watching it.

“Competing for the Crown”

We see some upcoming clips and he cries at least once which is exciting. A bunch of girls are shown and I can’t remember a single one of their names. This should be a quality review y’all.

They all sit around being the best sort of catty about the first impression girl getting some alone time with “Harry”.  A lot of them are older than he is.

I’m kind of impressed with how coy the fake “Harry” is. He gives non-answers to questions like a pro. “Do you ride in helicopters a lot?” “Now and again.” As in right now and yesterday and maybe tomorrow. He has a devious side to him that we see as he plots to get them to guess who he is supposed to be without ever actually saying anything directly. He “trips up” and has “emergencies”. Rose, on the other hand, thinks she is being so subtle but she is about as good at subterfuge as I am at holding my tongue when I have an opinion. She is an idiot and does exactly what he hopes she will by spreading gossip. Continue reading

Episode Review: I Wanna Marry “Harry”, Episode 1

Oh, this show promises to be just wonderfully terrible and I am thrilled to get to see it.

It opens with a bunch of girls going to London. Of course, the girls are American. First, you can probably easily find 12 girls dumb enough be fooled by this in one shopping mall in America. Second, I assume all British girls grew up memorizing everything about their princes like we here in the States did about whatever guy in whichever boy band you were assigned in your friend group did. And apparently there are different accents in that country of theirs and I assume fake Harry’s accent is not the posh royal one of real Harry. Possibly the difference between redneck and southern gentleman. Or maybe they simply couldn’t use Brits because they would be taken to the tower for treason if they misaddressed a commoner as a royal. These girls aren’t “Bachelor contestant” type. Not a single one seems to have a kid or a dream to help people. And thank goodness. If I had to hear people talk about how important family is to them or how they just can’t wait to be a good parent on another show I might actually go to sleep at a reasonable hour instead of wasting my time. Instead, we get to hear about how important money is, and looks, and being pampered, and looking hot. Which might seem shallow but at least it feels really honest. At least half of the girls say they are smart/intelligent and shockingly some of them cannot walk in heels. Continue reading