Episode Review: I Wanna Marry “Harry”, Episode 3

See my reviews for episode 1 and episode 2.

“Spotted by the ‘Paparazzi'”

The episode starts in the suite but at least “Harry” doesn’t walk in on an undressed girl this time.

I was right about my hate for Jacqueline. She thinks that judging people constantly makes a girl a mean girl. Girl, hold the phone, because your constant judgement of Meghan makes you a mean girl by your own definition. Thumbs down.

Meghan keeps her thumbs up because she owns her judging. And I love the term “Tacky Jackie”.

Kimberly seems nice. Her date is cute. She might actually have gone for him if he hadn’t lied to her. But she seems like she might have trust issues and he isn’t giving her any reason to trust him. The “pap” guy is a nice touch for the ruse though.

Poor Kelley has to spend the day with Jackie and Maggie. But I am once again impressed with Matt for choosing to spend time with them. He says he knows they haven’t really made on impression on him yet and he didn’t think it was fair to send one of them home just because he didn’t give them a chance. But he does take the chance to throw out a few choice lies. He takes his shirt off. Cue the 2nd time we hear that he is pasty. What did they expect from a British ginger? Continue reading

Episode Review: I Wanna Marry “Harry”, Episode 2

See the review for episode 1.

I know this is a week late. I just really didn’t feel like watching it.

“Competing for the Crown”

We see some upcoming clips and he cries at least once which is exciting. A bunch of girls are shown and I can’t remember a single one of their names. This should be a quality review y’all.

They all sit around being the best sort of catty about the first impression girl getting some alone time with “Harry”.  A lot of them are older than he is.

I’m kind of impressed with how coy the fake “Harry” is. He gives non-answers to questions like a pro. “Do you ride in helicopters a lot?” “Now and again.” As in right now and yesterday and maybe tomorrow. He has a devious side to him that we see as he plots to get them to guess who he is supposed to be without ever actually saying anything directly. He “trips up” and has “emergencies”. Rose, on the other hand, thinks she is being so subtle but she is about as good at subterfuge as I am at holding my tongue when I have an opinion. She is an idiot and does exactly what he hopes she will by spreading gossip. Continue reading

Episode Review: Bachelorette, Season Andi, Episode 4

See my review for episode 1, episode 2, and episode 3.

Part 2 of the drama. Let’s go to exotic Connecticut.

First 1-on-1: It’s Dylan. Do you guys call B.S. when the guy or girl who gets the date says that the activity is “awesome” when it is just a lame train? But my goodness…he does something we don’t hear a lot of. HE ASKED ANDI ABOUT STUFF like HER longest relationship. He did a good job carrying the conversation. HOLY…He is 26. He looks old. Have you noticed how many younger guys are on this season.

Folks, I was determined to be unimpressed by him and while I don’t see the chemistry I can’t help but regret my initial judgement.

Group Date: There is absolutely no way this is going to go horribly wrong. JJ wears a button up because…? And his shirt actually says “Jj” but I will cut him some slack because apparently he does clothing for a living. Andi wears some high-heeled sneakers that I kind of really want.

Is anyone surprised that the coach is naturally allowed to take over his team “Rosebuds” or that the personal trainer is into this competition? And “Five of Hearts” is obviously not supposed to be the natural shoo-in for winning. It’s Pants, Farmer, and Tasos for goodness sakes. And this isn’t an underdog story. Luckily a lot of her favorites are in that group. At least they get beer.

Marquel talks trash about cereal for some reason and now I really want Honey Comb, and Captain Crunch, and Lucky Charms, and Reese Puffs, and diabetes. Continue reading

Episode Review: Bachelorette, Season Andi, Episode 3

See my reviews for episode 1 and episode 2.

aka: The episode we already kind of know the main events for because the “coming up next episode” segment gave us pretty good spoilers. 1 of 2.

If you are looking for spoilers this is probably not the best place. I’m not going to give projections. Google Reality Steve. He has every elimination until the end with details and pictures. The dude has proven himself as a source. I’m not even going to try to play in his arena. What you will get here is my own, often catty, opinions.

First 1-on-1 date: Nick (first impression rose) scores some points with me right off because he says, “I don’t know her and she doesn’t know me…what are the chances this is going to work out…but you never know.” Nothing earns my respect faster than having a clear view of reality, especially when guys are already thinking the word love and crying at elimination. Play a game with him: close your eyes when he talks. Do you see him pushing glasses up on his nose and wearing sweater vests? Lucky for him it comes off endearing awkward because he is decent looking. Continue reading

Episode Review: Bachelorette, Season Andi, Episode 2

See my review for episode 1.

“Who is ready to see some half-naked men?” This is going to be a great episode.

Date card 1: Eric gets a 1-on-1. Let’s be honest. The guy is dead so there is absolutely no way they are going to edit the show to make him out to be anything but amazing. But even if they didn’t have the whole “last moments of a man’s life” thing to deal with he seems legit. Remember, this is the guy with the job of “explorer.” His life gives him an advantage. There was no awkward first date silence, the guy is one amazing story after another. He isn’t like that one person at work that just got back from a guided tour of Rome and thinks they can do an accent. This guy is the real deal.

They build a sandcastle and he comes up with the adorable line, “We’ve already built our first home together.” And then he does an actual back flip. But it is obvious that he doesn’t win. First, he dies and well…we like being entertained by the problems of others but finding “true love” and then losing it and only having the show to watch over and over, seeing your relationship blossom, possibly being proposed to, having to do the “Men tell all” and “After the rose” segments…well that would be a little too brutal.

Then they snowboard and Eric further enforces the trust my inner fan girl has placed in him by being good at everything. I kind of feel like I’m crushing on a red shirt but I just can’t help it. They do little cutaways and Eric pretends to be nervous about whether he will get the rose or not. (I don’t believe for one moment that he actually didn’t know how much he charmed her.) Continue reading