Month: June 2014

Tragedy Strikes I Wanna Marry “Harry”

Ladies and gentlemen,

It is with a heavy heart that I report that this staple of your and my terrible-but-oh-so-delectable guilty pleasure diet has been cancelled. Apparently, this show did not resonate with the general public and had very low ratings. It might have had something to do with the fact that I’m too lazy to adjust my schedule to watch any show on the television (I get the basic networks on my VHS/DVD combo TV) when I could just watch it on Hulu the next day. (Spoilers don’t faze me.)

Luckily for you, the last 4 episodes were released today on Hulu and I have a subscription. You can expect a quality review of each remaining episode from me in the next few days. The episodes are the ideal length for watching between the games.

I guess now we are just stuck with a dating show that claims they can make true and lasting love two times a year.

0 CommentsLeave a comment

Episode Review: I Wanna Marry “Harry”, Episode 4

My “Brother” William

Read my reviews of episodes 1, 2, and 3.

Karina gets to eat breakfast with Sir (I’m going to use Sir more frequently because “Harry” and Matt and Fake all have more letters) and she manages to be fully clothed with hair and make-up. She prods well. “Tell me one thing about yourself that you haven’t told the other girls.” A close-up on her face shows that she has expertly covered up pimples. I feel a little better about myself now. Of course Karina goes right back and tells all the other girls. But it seems that she doesn’t get an extravagant lunch date with Sir.

Chelsea and Drunk Maggie get to go horseback riding with Sir and the rest have to muck out the stables. Chelsea brings up race. She is the only black girl. She asks him if he has ever dated a black girl and he says no but it isn’t like color comes into it. We acknowledged and dismissed that.

Most of the girls don’t take to mucking really well. But Kelley does it well with the mentality, if he wants me to then I will prove I am down to earth. They joke that they hope Maggie stays sober enough to stay on her horse. A comment to take note of: “It’s like she thinks there is going to be an engagement ring at the end of this.” At least some of the girls aren’t romantic fools. Continue reading →

5 CommentsLeave a comment

Episode Review: Bachelorette, Season Andi, Recap

“The Journey So Far” is not even worth watching if you remotely paid attention to the previous episodes.

Feel free to look back at my reviews for episodes 1, 2, 3, and 4 instead. Yes, it does seem like we decided to skip 5. Read my review for episode 5 here now.

So, for some reason we have only seen 4 episodes and apparently we need a recap. We get to see the guys leave the limo. Does anyone really believe that the limo broke down so conveniently for Cody? It’s basically a cut down version of the episodes all over again. To weigh in on the Chris B. issue again, he is a player and a cad an a professional contestant who was likable on Emily’s season and plans to milk the little fan support he has left for every penny he can.

I will say I’m not mad to see the stripping again but the singing was even worse than I remember.

Guys she has kissed: Chris the farmer, JJ of the pants, Marcus, First Impression Rose Nick, Josh recently from Atlanta, Brian

I have decided that Andi’s listening face is really unfortunate. She juts out her bottom lip and narrows her eyes. But I really think she is listening and cares.

We get to see the unaired rose ceremony from episode 4 which makes me happy. Nick wins bonus points with his line, “If you wanna let it out I’ll listen.” Chris complains that he wanted to be the guy to get her but he wasn’t so he should deal with his failure to act. Guys get madeat Nick for doing it and I’m like, he did it first so deal with it. He was deserving of that moment with her because he did it instead of sitting around. There are 25 guys trying to win her heart so yes Nick was being kind of selfish by taking the opportunity but he is allowed to be. At the end, Andi isn’t going to appreciate the guy who wanted to come find her. It’s like the guy in the friend zone that complains that the girl never gives him the chance even though he hasn’t made a move. Annoying.

The moment of truth for Tasos comes. He gets a lot of hugs from the guys. Their parting was nice. Andi says she likes him so much as a person and she doesn’t want to lead him on. Tasos wipes a few tears away, says some nice things, and leaves.

We are going to the south of France next episode which Patrick and Andrew seem to really dig. Speaking of Andrew, we don’t see a single shred of that drama that was played with in the recap. They dangle some Andrew cussing scenes in front of us on the sneak peak at next week which could mean they are rewarding us for our patience, especially with this nothing episode. Or maybe we are just going to pretend nothing ever happened. And speaking of Patrick, HANDS OFF HE IS MINE! Although, I think he might kiss her next week and I might just hate her now.

See y’all next week hopefully.

8 CommentsLeave a comment

Movie Review: Maleficent (2014)

Yes, I did see two movies this weekend. (Take that the one person who answered the poll and said to see neither movie.)

I liked this movie but I will warn you from the start it is definitely more of a kid’s kid movie than other recent options. It is not a kid’s movie like The Lego Movie that adults basically hijacked. And it is not a princess movie like Frozen that united the world in literal harmony. What it is is a large step above the classic Disney princess tale. If I had to compare it to something I would say Mirror Mirror which is based on the tale of Snow White and came out around the same time as Snow White and the Huntsman which is probably why you might not know it.

I will start by addressing the biggest factor in this movie: Angelina Jolie. She was an executive producer as well as the title character. She was heavily featured in advertising. This movie was going to succeed or fail based on her. And I loved her in it. She has a face that is impossible to mistake but they were smart with her makeup. They played up her cheekbones and in the end it wasn’t Angelina I was watching but Maleficent. It helps that even if she was a nobody she looks a lot like the cartoon character. She was fully clothed and did little hand to hand combat which helps as well.

The changes to the story were beautiful. Gone is the good vs. evil, black vs. white, old vs. young flat palate of the original. Instead we have a villain that is also a hero. The characters were dynamic and grew. We had justification for the hate and the war. We had complex relationships and back stories. And we had a strong but relatable female lead. Plus the princess looked her age. Continue reading →

1 CommentLeave a comment

Movie Review: A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014)

I was worried about seeing this movie but I am glad I did. It was kind of like a live action episode of Family Guy (one of the really good episodes, not one of “road to…” ones). It started off fast and funny.

There was a joke early on that I thought was a miss. Seth’s character is wasted and about to get on his horse. The line was, “Don’t drink and horse.” Obviously, this was a play on ‘drink and drive’. It didn’t land with me for one reason. In my mind it should have been “Don’t drink and ride.” Drive and ride are both verbs. Horse is a noun. We don’t say ‘drink and car’. If the word ride didn’t exist and or share similar phones I wouldn’t mind. Now whether it never occurred to them or they thought of it and dismissed it, possibly for being too easy, I don’t know. This was the only joke that didn’t land for me though.. the rest of the jokes were well done and delivered perfectly.

The cast was nicely utilized. Even the cameos were elegant.

The thing that sets this apart from other recent male-humor driven movies (Neighbors) was the tone. Where Neighbors tried a little too hard to be more than just a funny movie this movie embraced its identity. It didn’t take itself seriously. It didn’t drag things out. It was focused on its theme and was really able to explore a lot of facets through its farcical lens. Continue reading →

2 CommentsLeave a comment