Episode Review: Bachelor in Paradise, Week 1

Wanna make a bet on how many times someone says something with “paradise” in it?

Meet the cast I mean real people looking for love

Clare, Juan Paublo’s Season
Marcus, Andi’s Season
Sarah, Sean’s Season
Marquel, Andi’s Season
Daniella, Sean’s Season
Graham, DeAnna’s Season
Lacy, Juan Paublo’s Season
Ben S., Desiree’s Season
Michelle K., Jake’s Season
Robert, Desiree’s Season
Dylan, Andi’s Season
Elise, Juan Paublo’s Season
AshLee, Sean’s Season

Late Arrivals

Michelle M., Brad’s Season

Daniella says, “Maybe I’m just in delusional.” Maybe you’re just drunk.

There are more men this episode than women because this is the Bachelor franchise and all we want at the end of the day is true love.

How this show works: They get to pick who they go on dates with, kind of. At the end of the week each guy will pick a girl and the odd girl out goes home. Next week a new girl will be brought in and the girls will each pick a guy and the odd guy out will go home. Repeat until they either decide to start voting couples out or they end with the remaining couples as winners by default.

Basically each week most every contestant will find out that they are not their favorite’s favorite. There will be lies and manipulation and tears. And there is no shortage of alcohol. Continue reading →

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Episode Review: Bachelorette, Season Andi, After the Final Rose

If you missed the entire season then cheat and check my review of episodes 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, pointless recap, and men tell all.

We start off the episode, where we are supposed to see Andi and Josh happy, with Nick’s sob story. He stalked her when she went on vacation. (Don’t tell me the word is followed. I mean stalk because that is stalker material.) The he tries to sit down with her at Men Tell All and is denied both times. She feels she isn’t ready to sit down face-to-face with him yet but he manages to hand over a letter. And wow, I just remembered that there was a letter in the spoiler at the end of episode 9 and there was a lot of drama made about it.

This season was the season of the disappointing build up. Although there might be more drama in the first few minutes of this episode than the entirety of Men Tell All.

Nick comes out to chat. It actually seems hard for him. When he is asked if he thinks Andi made a mistake he honestly says he doesn’t think he is in the position to answer that. He admits that Josh is a great guy and that he knows Josh will appreciate and cherish the woman that Andi is. But he can’t help but wonder. Andi is about to come out… Continue reading →

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Episode Review: Bachelorette, Season Andi, Episode 10

Wanna see how Andi narrowed her reverse harem down? Take a quick jaunt through episodes 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, and 9 as well as the useless recap and Men Tell All.

Nick meets the parents: He brings not just flowers for Andi’s mother but also what seems to be rum for her father. Her mother noticed that Nick didn’t really show any feelings through physical touch. He also wore a v-neck shirt and spent a lot of time showing just how much of a nervous wreck he is.

Luckily for him he stumbled over himself so much that there is no doubt in her mother’s mind that he is telling the truth about how much he likes Andi.

Andi talks about the passion of their physical relationship and I’m just sitting here thinking that not all chemistry jumps off the screen. Continue reading →

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Movie Review: Guardians of the Galaxy (2014)

I went into this movie knowing next to nothing about this movie or this particular universe. What I did know came from the preview and that mostly served to confuse me. The confusion did not last.

This movie’s back story was expertly woven in. Let’s be honest, if they had explained everything I didn’t know about including all the new races and worlds and governments, this movie would have been nothing but narration setting things up. But they would have alienated most of the audience who would spend way too much time wondering why the green girl hated the human and the blue girl who is kind of her sister (who is Amy Pond btw guys) and no time actually buying into the plot and the characters.

Luckily for us someone knew what he or she was doing. What ends up on the screen is a plot that explains everything it needs to without taking us on a detour. Back story is weaved into the dialogue but in a way that still pushes the story forward. New species and location are introduced through reasonable plot points. Continue reading →

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Episode Review: Bachelorette, Season Andi, The Men Tell All

Wanna know what they are telling about? See my reviews for episodes 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, and the pointless recap 4 episodes in.

Andi holds the record for getting the most “I love yous” out of the guys. A former Bachelorette is pregnant and we get to find out the gender. We see a preview for Bachelor in Paradise which looks like it has the drama of the Bachelor without the love and the backstabbing of the Bachelor Pad without the competition. Chris is on it so we should really buy into the love aspect. I’m tempted. We see handcuffs and ambulances.

But finally we wade through their shameless self promoting to the real reason we all tuned in, exploitation of potential racism for the benefit of FOX. And guess what? All the guys are all wearing scarves. Some of them know how to drape it a little too well and some, I’m looking at you Potato, make it painfully obvious that they are just wearing scarves for the group. Continue reading →