Episode Review: Bachelor in Paradise, Week 1

Wanna make a bet on how many times someone says something with “paradise” in it?

Meet the cast I mean real people looking for love

Clare, Juan Paublo’s Season
Marcus, Andi’s Season
Sarah, Sean’s Season
Marquel, Andi’s Season
Daniella, Sean’s Season
Graham, DeAnna’s Season
Lacy, Juan Paublo’s Season
Ben S., Desiree’s Season
Michelle K., Jake’s Season
Robert, Desiree’s Season
Dylan, Andi’s Season
Elise, Juan Paublo’s Season
AshLee, Sean’s Season

Late Arrivals

Michelle M., Brad’s Season

Daniella says, “Maybe I’m just in delusional.” Maybe you’re just drunk.

There are more men this episode than women because this is the Bachelor franchise and all we want at the end of the day is true love.

How this show works: They get to pick who they go on dates with, kind of. At the end of the week each guy will pick a girl and the odd girl out goes home. Next week a new girl will be brought in and the girls will each pick a guy and the odd guy out will go home. Repeat until they either decide to start voting couples out or they end with the remaining couples as winners by default.

Basically each week most every contestant will find out that they are not their favorite’s favorite. There will be lies and manipulation and tears. And there is no shortage of alcohol. Continue reading →

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Episode Review: Bachelorette, Season Andi, After the Final Rose

If you missed the entire season then cheat and check my review of episodes 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, pointless recap, and men tell all.

We start off the episode, where we are supposed to see Andi and Josh happy, with Nick’s sob story. He stalked her when she went on vacation. (Don’t tell me the word is followed. I mean stalk because that is stalker material.) The he tries to sit down with her at Men Tell All and is denied both times. She feels she isn’t ready to sit down face-to-face with him yet but he manages to hand over a letter. And wow, I just remembered that there was a letter in the spoiler at the end of episode 9 and there was a lot of drama made about it.

This season was the season of the disappointing build up. Although there might be more drama in the first few minutes of this episode than the entirety of Men Tell All.

Nick comes out to chat. It actually seems hard for him. When he is asked if he thinks Andi made a mistake he honestly says he doesn’t think he is in the position to answer that. He admits that Josh is a great guy and that he knows Josh will appreciate and cherish the woman that Andi is. But he can’t help but wonder. Andi is about to come out… Continue reading →

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Episode Review: Bachelorette, Season Andi, Episode 9

View my opinions on all the previous episodes. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, and 8 as well as that filler episode.

Final 3 in the Dominican Republic.

If you feel like you need to pause watching to make food or clean or something just know you are probably pretty safe skipping through the first segment and starting after the commercial break. It is basically her crying, her talking about her uncertainty, and a recap of her relationship with the men.

First Date: Nick

She is worried because his version of his past relationships and his family’s version are different. He wants to tell her he loves her. I just want her dress. They really should publish the clothing list for shows so that I can get all the pretty things.

Andi says “It’s kind of an adult romance with Nick.” She feels that he is really passionate. I’m just like, waaaaaat?

She tries to pry his relationship history from him. He rambles (and he knows he did). And at the end I just don’t feel any emotion from him. But are we shocked that he is reticent and a little (lot) awkward in this dating situation? I would be gone the first night for lightly punching the Bachelor in the arm, referencing South Park, and calling him dude all while laughing nervously.

Nick did “what any 33yo from the Midwest would do.” He wrote a fairytale with pictures and everything. This is too much. It’s past cheesy. It has extra blank pages at the end for their future. And it sets him up perfectly to say, “I love you.” But he doesn’t. It’s like his timing just fell apart. He has to actively create the moment. I can’t decide whether he is awkwardly endearing or just a douche. Continue reading →

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Episode Review: Bachelorette, Season Andi, Episode 8

We are getting close to the end people! Look back through my eyes at Episodes 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, and 7 (also the filler episode if you are that bored).

For those of you who are looking for answers not given in the episode look elsewhere. All I can offer you is the best darn color commentary anywhere on the internets (valid opinion of my friend Catsy that definitely counts as a reliable source).

It’s hometowns! This is the time where we can see if we, I mean she, would fit well with the final four contestants’ families.

Nick’s Hometown: On their tour around Milwaukee they hit up a brewery where there is a beer on tap called the “Nick and Andi” and then they polka (which I am much better at than they are) and that’s the story of how I warmed back up to Nick.

His family is large, ten siblings. She and Nick get to sit on one couch and the entire brood plus significant others minus one brother sit/stand across and fire questions.

I’m so hot and cold with this man. Sometimes I really hate him. Other times I think he is just adorkable. And that’s probably due to skilled and experienced editors. Continue reading →

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Episode Review: Bachelorette, Season Andi, Episode 7

Take a quick stroll from first impression until hometown rose through my eyes. Episode 1, Episode 2, Episode 3, Episode 4, Look Back Episode, Episode 5, and Episode 6.

Tonight we got to Belgium which was brilliantly (and disastrously) chosen after they slayed out national team today. Good job whoever is in charge of picking locations and planning episode air dates.

Marcus 1-on-1: Remember that Marcus told her he wanted to leave at one point? It isn’t because he doesn’t like her. It’s because he is scared of the power of his own emotions. (Gag) This is the date I would like to go on. If their first 1-on-1 was my least favorite situation walking around eating good not scary/bug based/eye retaining food and getting to sit frequently is my favorite.

It doesn’t look like they touch their wine that much. Marcus is often seen holding his water-glass. They really took their discussion seriously. At the end he throws out the word “soul mate” in an aside.

Nick decides that he isn’t hated enough by the guys he has to live with and goes to find Andi. He goes into the hotel Andi is staying at, tells a terrible lie that he lost his room key, forget the room number, but it is under his wife’s name and could they help him out. And they gave him the key. I’m quite sure that part had to be staged because this is not the first time a contestant has snuck out and tracked down their target. But let’s remember friend, the last two times this has happened the contestant has ended up going home at the very end heartbroken and bitter (Arie and the hairstylist lady). It does not work for some reason. Continue reading →